NewStats: 3,261,654 , 8,174,652 topics. Date: Thursday, 29 May 2025 at 11:25 PM 3k5v4z

Immediately. If not immediately, why marry?

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

make them enjoy marriage small la before children palava

donstan18:
I don't know for women, but I strongly believe that children are one of the major reasons why most men settle down.

Reason the day a man becomes a father is more memorable than his wedding day.

So I think it's proper not to wait for anything before making babies, especially these days where 70% of slay queens are womb-less. Start immediately to help you know if you married a fertile woman or not.


In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

@ 2 months, have you tested the fertility of the husband.

I disagreed with that 70% actually. Where is your research analysis?

People go into marriage for several reasons.

The first point God gave Adam his wife was for companionship.

There is this general rush African parents do to there children about having kid's.

I knew a woman who got married at 20yrs.She had to wait for 16yrs due to barrenness to have her first child.

She also waited for another 11yrs for another second daughter who later died at one year old.

She died at 103yrs. and was buried this last September, 2019.

In some developed countries, some do marries with an agreement of no kids.That seems quite extreme actually. But who am I to blame them.

People should learn to not rush into lifetime decisions.

My pastor and his wife waited for 3months to enjoy nice sexual life before she got pregnant.

He was like he does not want to rush into having kids when he was yet to enjoy his wife..

He has 4 kid's today.

pls looking for a place in warri for IT if any one could help me ,my number 07083947787

I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

0KNM:
I go don even pikin put her belle before marriage... it’s just matter of counting down to delivery day

that's kind of funny

Wait For Maximum Of Five Years, Minimum Of Four

Tela101:
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage.

When a couple gets married, they are almost always faced with the inevitable pester from friends and family:

So when are you having kids? The older you are, the more pressing the question seems to be. Ticktock, ticktock.

So, what do you guys think?

For those that followed due process...

There is no particular period or for kid bearing start as soon as possible the economy is not friendly

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

oh....I also mine. God bless you for this

TruthProphet:


You do know, having a child involves planning and preparations, not just bringing a child into the world because you feel it is what you ought to do after marriage or because others are doing it. What is the state of your finance after all the spending for wedding; have you planned for school fees, health insurance and all that stuff??

You should have discussed all these you said with your spouse before getting married. You don't need to rush and spend so much for your wedding.Wedding is for few hours...Your guests will eat and go leaving you and your wife on your own....Bro planning a marriage is not a child's play....Be prepared and once you are prepared finanacially ,bringing the number of children you can cater for into the world won't be hard.

Sounds like you have a fantastic marriage.

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

taiwoawoniyi:
Many people who are commenting aren't being objective.

Ask any married person and they will tell you that adjusting to married life takes some effort. Marriage isn't something that happened in a day. You have to gradually adjust to the quirks and peculiarities of your spouse.

Before having babies, you both should be in tango emotionally. Having a baby tends to share the affection from two into three.

Also, finances MUST be considered. You must understand the financial implications of having a child. If you don't have a child yet, you and your spouse can still "manage" yourselves . You can't "manage" a baby/parenthood.

What if your wife has to undergo Cesarian operation? That's about #150k for childbirth alone. We've not discussed ante-natal, baby clothes (which must be changed maybe every month or two), baby food, baby diaper, school fees when the time comes, and the overall responsibility of training a child properly.

Don't go into something you're not prepared for.
A friend decided with her husband to wait for three years...yes, three years before she got pregnant and they have a beautiful baby now. TheyreT doing very fine.

If you're not thoroughly prepared, enjoy your spouse for now.

Modified: I just heard toys are very expensive too.

Think and plan well before plunging into the decision to give birth early .You see people who are pressuring you - mothers, friends, general talkatives - they won't be around when you're thinking of how to pay school fees.

Now imagine if you give birth to TWINS! Those things I wrote, multiply them conveniently by TWO. You'll understand that responsibility isn't for children.

TRIPLETS nko? I cannot even begin to can .God works in wonderful ways!

Thank you very much. By the way, that 150k is too small in many places. 300k even in a government general hospital. Let's not forget the school fees when they start coming. My kid was to start nursery school. When they showed me the bill, my whole day just spoilt. And only 2 children at that oh.

Why rush? Take time and prepare. Life is bloody expensive with children. Only poo poo is N50 each for diapers! 3 to 5 poo poos a day. Do the maths.

6 months. The woman is meant to be 3 months pregnant already. So we know she's fertile

greatmarshall:
Hmm... It depends on how long you choose to wait

Let her wait till menopause

Interesting comments. IMO it's good you stay for about one year. This will enable both of you to enjoy yourselves, adjust to the reality of being married - living together and plan. Yes plan!

For those that want the babies sharp! sharp!! that once the wife takes in, the man has just 9 months to plan for the baby: this includes saving for; antenatal expenses, baby items, baby delivery (including contingency for CS if it goes that way. Well a good hospital can give likely indications) etc.

So you see that if you do not plan very well and be prepared emotionally and mentally, you may be in for a bumpy ride and you will think it is village people when the expenses start pouring in torrents.

SenecaTheYonger:
Sounds like you have a fantastic marriage.

Oh God has been faithful. It's been lovely. Can't wait for the little minions to grow old enough that I can ship them off to some boarding school or other!

Just kidding.

But I am seriously considering it though

Once you planned for your marriage and not wedding, you won't be having problem on when to start having children. I will recommend that if you can afford this book or get it from your friend, read it, it will help you very well in your marital life: Things I wish I had known before I got married by Gary Clap Man.

Depends on the couple to each his own, but for me ,no time ,the earlier you get over the birthing stage the better,i don't want to be using walking stick when my child enters university.

LewsTherin:
I will always advice to wait at least a year before tryimg for kids. Not so as to "sexually enjoy each other " but so as to get to know each other. No family, no extras, no one but you both. Then you know who the other person really is.

We waited 3 years before one pastor prayed one kind prayer like that wey no be im business.

I miss those early days.

We could just get up and go on a night out. Go to the movies. Dinner. Go to a concert. Take a weekend off just like that. We could go visit friends whenever we wanted and if the traffic got too bad, we go to a hotel somewhere for the night.

And yes the sex. Palour, kitchen, bathroom, any room.

I miss those days. Now everything is "where are the kids?" "Where do we keep the kids?" "The kids can't go there" "We have to hurry to pick up the kids" and of course "not so loud. You'll wake the kids up!!!"

I miss those early days.

@bolded....In Africa,once its 9 months,everybody Don de shine eye put for your body...

Godtschild:
Thank you. We decided to wait for a year and we went off birth control on our first year anniversary. The kids came in quick succession lol now our lives are not the same again. We always reminiscence our first year.

Nice...planning to do same. What form of birth control did you employ?

greatmarshall:
Hmm... It depends on how long you choose to wait

Simple!

LewsTherin:


Thank you very much. By the way, that 150k is too small in many places. 300k even in a government general hospital. Let's not forget the school fees when they start coming. My kid was to start nursery school. When they showed me the bill, my whole day just spoilt. And only 2 children at that oh.

Why rush? Take time and prepare. Life is blooding expensive with children. Only poo poo is N50 each for diapers! 3 to 5 poo poos a day. Do the maths.

So I was even being minimalist with the 150k budget...imagine.
School fees alone is worth a whole lot. So school fees for Nursery school isn't a joke. And two children.

Let's do some maths too:
#50 per diaper
3-5 diapers, let's take an average of 4 diapers a day.
That is #200 daily.
#1,400 a week.
#5,500 a month roughly,
#65 k a year...on diapers alone. My God!
Imagine you were bountifully blessed with twins, multiply that figure.

If you can't take care of a child, learn to wait till you have the capacity .

Many people commenting are NOT married. Marriage isn't a bed of roses.

So for pooing, you'll spend roughly more than #65k in a year. School fees isn't there ooo...every term, you'll buy stationeries o.
You'll buy socks, sandals/shoes, lunch boxes, bags, you'll take your child to the beach or eatery.

Let me not even start analysing those ones sef.

Go for family plan.

Amarisa:


@bolded....In Africa,once its 9 months,everybody Don de shine eye put for your body...

The guy thought we were having issues. Before I knew anything he called down the power of God like something serious. After prayer I went "boss, na plan oh. No be mistake"
We were gunning for 5 years so as to settle down as we just moved in and work was tough!

For the those who follow the due process. Its the eleventh month that child or children will start to come

Oh. Depends on how long u can wait

Plz see if someone have sex ad blood come out Wat dose it means?

Oseh1Gidigba:
For the those who follow the due process. Its the eleventh month that child or children will start to come

Anywhere between five to twelve months naturally.

Some babies have been delivered at five months (with specialized medical care) and thrived.

Pre term, etc.

Since you folks are now calculating time of conception et al, does your idleness ever end?

Fetal viability:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_viability

joepepsy:
Wait till you both are over 50, nonsense!

Why so rude?

Funny question with joking answers.

Let's analyze:

If you say you will wait for 3 months to 1 year, does it mean no sex or your wife will be on family planning?

We humans are not God, if your wife is not on family planning( which is not 100% certified excluding Abstinence), you will wake up one day with pregnancy

Furthermore, I still see no reason, a newly wedded couple will start their lives with Family planning programs.?

There are some family planning programs that has adverse effect that can be detrimental to the woman.

God giveth and God taketh, Don't act too wise, so you won't be a candidate of looking for fruit of the womb.

donstan18:
In fact, any lady that fails to take in at most, 2 months after wedding should be questioned or sent packing.

Please please, give us your wife's number let us warn her

mzhorlah:
It depends on the individuals involved. As for me, I will enjoy my husband well before inviting any third party(babies)

from their monikers you shall know them.