NewStats: 3,264,196 , 8,182,932 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 at 06:56 AM 15a1s

Feelings of lust

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys please I need advice I don't know if I am making a mistake or should I go on maybe I might get the wife I am looking for. a lady came to my compound looking for a room and she is very good and has good shape and nyash out of joy I gave her the room but she paid for everything and I help her with water and other things to clean the room but later I started having feelings for her.

I don't know if I can tell her that I am in love with her and I can't explain it or should I keep my feeling to myself?

You don't have any feelings you lusting and just want to taste and destroy

Say goodbye to the house rent and later to your house

The girl don manipulate her but him no go gree,

joceey:
Lol love under how many weeks or month?You better try to know more about her first before rushing into the unknown journey.

..abi..does not know if the girl can have HIV/AIDS

See what konji has caused for you...its a pity

dangermouse:
You should never try anything romantic with a neighbor or a work mate. Never try it my man. E get why.

Women full for outside.

Honestly, keep that feelings for yourself.
I will even beg you, please!

Better respect yourself, and ask junior to behave himself.

What you feel at the moment, is just mere infatuation because of her good shapes. In no time, your eyes go clear!

Issokay

The new tenancy law should have had laws of sexual harassment or any forms of attempt or coercive relationship by landlords to tenants.Women should be allowed to feel safe where ever they are,be it at the workplace,places of study,home or rental apartments etc.To the landlords, lecturers, managers, bosses etc go look for spouses elsewhere,that ain't why the ladies came for,in the first place.

Tatata by Burnaboy is what I see. No be love,

What u have been searching for God provided it for u.

U wan kill chicken, you carry gun shoot am down.
Na you go chop the meat with in feathers and broken bones.

Hunt far away from home, that's what a real hunter does.

Thank you for the free rent for her after this year

UnknownQueen:


Why does feeling disappear in men after they sleep with a woman ....?

Cause it was never love in the first place , lust looks like love to men 99 percent of the time , it's after sex our eyes really open lol. I sometimes mistake lust for love too I'm not gonna lie.

Some men would realize this and keep pretending to love a woman just to keep getting more sex and then wen they become trapped by d woman , the men start acting nonchalant And then the woman starts acting nonchalantly too and that's the situation the op would enta if he doesn't respect himself.

UnknownQueen:


Hmmm, it might interest you that I fell into same with a pastor transferred to our church, and u know what , the pastor really liked me , we were quite close but luckily after few years he was transferred from our church and that's how the feelings died, I don't have this feelings often but on the three occasions I've had these feelings, the other person usually feels same, I don't know why it's like that....

I believe the feelings is normal but the ability to control yourself is the most important. Most esp.as you are a married woman. I was watching the TV. with an aunty of mine and her husband one day and she saw an actor in one of the scenes. She spoke out right there in front of her husband expressing her feelings for the actor, his muscle his height everything. (And the husband is like a drum). If she by chance meet the actor one on one I wonder where it will lead to. But if she's a disciplined person then that's good for her. I believe all these happen but to stay disciplined if you are married that's the utmost.

dangermouse:
You should never try anything romantic with a neighbor or a work mate. Never try it my man. E get why.

Women full for outside.

why you talk so? Does love knows places where it falls?

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys please I need advice I don't know if I am making a mistake or should I go on maybe I might get the wife I am looking for. a lady came to my compound looking for a room and she is very good and has good shape and nyash out of joy I gave her the room but she paid for everything and I help her with water and other things to clean the room but later I started having feelings for her.

I don't know if I can tell her that I am in love with her and I can't explain it or should I keep my feeling to myself?

It's a free world, who say you can't fall in love with your tenant? But then do your proper assessment of her to be sure she is what you really want. The reason is that you may not be easily off the hook once you start dating her because this someone close(in your compound )to you and that is why some people like to choose from people that are a little far from them so that if things don't go as plan, they can easily cut off and move on.

UnknownQueen:


I'm not gonna lie, we would have engaged what we felt for each other, cos it was an instant attraction, it felt like a classic Nollywood love at first sight moment, afterwards we exchanged numbers (he asked for it) following the test I went for, but because of the love I had for my husband I told him, cos the feelings I had for this guy I just can't explain, it was too intense and real but I knew it won't last, hence why I had to help myself by myself by speaking to hubby

you are crazy and your hubby is mad. Awon werey meji

Hisroyalbeat:
Just say you wan knack,Wata Bam Bam

No mind am. U see person for the first time na shape and nyash u first size, shey that one no be lust?

How that one take translate to love?

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys please I need advice I don't know if I am making a mistake or should I go on maybe I might get the wife I am looking for. a lady came to my compound looking for a room and she is very good and has good shape and nyash out of joy I gave her the room but she paid for everything and I help her with water and other things to clean the room but later I started having feelings for her.

I don't know if I can tell her that I am in love with her and I can't explain it or should I keep my feeling to myself?

Oga dating girl in the same compound that you are living make no sense. I will advice to let her go. But if you can relocate from the same compound fine. Please don't stay in the same compound with her if you don't want to end up crying.

SeriouslySense:
The weather is too cold

Cold wan finish d werey lmaoooo

Do what's best for you, but you are on your own

Your description of the lady in question didn't say anything about her attitude, behavior, who she is, etc but you could see na sexual ...

Abeg there is no love in that na konji dey worry you.

That’s lust not love… you just wanna fvck

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys please I need advice I don't know if I am making a mistake or should I go on maybe I might get the wife I am looking for. a lady came to my compound looking for a room and she is very good and has good shape and nyash out of joy I gave her the room but she paid for everything and I help her with water and other things to clean the room but later I started having feelings for her.

I don't know if I can tell her that I am in love with her and I can't explain it or should I keep my feeling to myself?

You're in lust with her. Accept reality

Thank you for being open—it’s not always easy to talk about feelings, especially when you're unsure of what to do. Let’s break it down together.

Here’s what’s clear:
You met someone who caught your attention—physically, yes, but also emotionally.

You helped her genuinely, and now you’re developing deeper feelings.

You’re wondering if you should express those feelings or stay silent.

A few things to think about before making a move:
✅ Check Your Intentions
Ask yourself: Are your feelings growing because of how she treats you? Her character? The way she carries herself? Or is it mainly attraction?
Real connection goes beyond physical beauty. If it’s more than attraction, then it may be worth exploring.

✅ Gauge Her Interest
Has she shown signs of interest in you? Warmth, appreciation, or trying to engage beyond casual conversation?
Look for natural chemistry. If she’s friendly and seems comfortable around you, that’s a good sign. If she seems distant or purely polite, maybe hold off.

✅ Be Respectful and Clear
If you decide to express your feelings, keep it respectful and calm. Something like:

“I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you a bit, and I find myself developing feelings. I just wanted to be honest and see if you might be open to spending more time together.”

Avoid pressure or big declarations like “I love you” too early—it can feel overwhelming, especially if she doesn’t know you well yet.

⚠️ Understand the Risks
If she doesn’t feel the same, things might feel awkward for a while. But that’s okay—it’s better than living in regret. You’ve already been kind and ive, and that speaks well of you.

⚠️ Avoid Power Imbalance
Even though she paid for the room, make sure she never feels like she "owes" you anything emotionally or romantically. Keep your intentions honest and clean—she’ll respect that.

My Honest Advice:
If your feelings are genuine and you approach her with respect and clarity, there’s no harm in letting her know. Life’s too short to always hold back—just be prepared for whatever her response may be.

BonPatrick:
Good morning guys please I need advice I don't know if I am making a mistake or should I go on maybe I might get the wife I am looking for. a lady came to my compound looking for a room and she is very good and has good shape and nyash out of joy I gave her the room but she paid for everything and I help her with water and other things to clean the room but later I started having feelings for her.

I don't know if I can tell her that I am in love with her and I can't explain it or should I keep my feeling to myself?

UnknownQueen:

Thanks Thanks..
What made it worse was that both of us liked each other at first meeting, it was like Love at first sight and thing is if I had not resigned, we would engage, so reg was the best thing to do.....

Wow interesting,so how often do you guys communicate after you resigned cos you said you exchanged s? Do you have kids with your husband yet? You are a unique individual cos you are open about this and told your husband and still did what he asked you to do,you are strong o mentally,you didn't let your emotions overpower your logic like how women generally do.

You're absolutely right to say it's a free world, and falling in love with someone close to you, like a tenant, isn’t wrong—feelings don’t always follow rules. But you’ve also brought up a very real and mature concern that deserves attention.

Let’s unpack your point and then offer a counter-argument in a balanced way.

⚖️ Your Argument (Well Stated):
Emotional entanglement with someone close (like a tenant) can be harder to walk away from if things go bad.

Because you see the person regularly, space becomes a problem if a breakup happens.

This is why some people prefer dating outside their immediate environment—it’s easier to disconnect if needed.

🧠 Counter-Argument (For Consideration):
1. Proximity Isn’t Always a Problem—It's How You Handle It
While being close can complicate things, it can also build stronger bonds. Seeing someone in everyday life helps you truly know who they are—not just their “date night” version.

If you're emotionally mature and both of you are clear about your boundaries, even proximity can work in your favor. It teaches patience, respect, and understanding.

2. Love Is About Compatibility, Not Geography
Whether someone lives next door or five cities away, what matters most is character, communication, and shared values. Distance might make breakups easier, but it doesn't guarantee better relationships.

3. Running From Risk Means Running From Possibility
Every relationship has risk. You could date someone far away and still end up heartbroken. What if this person is the one, and you miss out because of fear of what might go wrong?

Managing risk is smart—but letting fear make the decision for you isn't. If she shows emotional maturity, kindness, and compatibility with you, it’s worth exploring, even with some caution.

4. Set Clear and Boundaries
If things do develop:

Be honest from the start about intentions.

Keep your roles clear (landlord vs. romantic partner).

If it ends, be respectful enough to manage it maturely without drama.

✅ Final Thoughts:
Yes, dating someone so close can get messy if not handled well, but that doesn’t mean it’s a mistake. The key is to go in with emotional intelligence, honesty, and the right intentions.

alizma:

It's a free world, who say you can't fall in love with your tenant? But then do your proper assessment of her to be sure she is what you really want. The reason is that you may not be easily off the hook once you start dating her because this someone close(in your compound )to you and that is why some people like to choose from people that are a little far from them so that if things don't go as plan, they can easily cut off and move on.

Your comment is packed with hard truth and practical caution, especially for someone who might be rushing into emotions without thinking things through. But let’s offer a counter-argument—not to dismiss your point, but to balance it with a thoughtful and optimistic perspective.

🎯 Your Core Message (Well Made):
Dating someone close (like a tenant or neighbor) can easily turn into an emotional trap.

"See finish" (overfamiliarity) can kill attraction and respect.

If you're not fully ready to commit financially, emotionally, and mentally, don’t start.

There's always the chance that someone better—maybe even “God-sent”—could still come along.

🔄 Counter-Argument (For a Balanced View):
1. "See Finish" Happens When There’s No Mutual Respect—Not Just Because of Proximity
Yes, being too familiar with someone can breed contempt, but that happens only if boundaries, mystery, and mutual value aren’t preserved.

Living near someone doesn’t automatically ruin attraction.

In fact, closeness can build stronger understanding, if managed wisely.

2. You're Not Marrying Her—You're Getting to Know Her
You’re not committing your freedom, money, or future yet—you’re just observing and maybe taking a first step. Studying her logically and emotionally (as you rightly suggested) is actually part of the process.
But ruling her out completely just because she's a neighbor could make you miss a meaningful connection.

3. Real Relationships Always Require Sacrifice
Whether she’s close or far, any real relationship will cost you something—time, freedom, energy. The question isn’t "Can I avoid paying the price?" but rather "Is she worth the price?"

If she turns out to be immature or not what you expected, then you respectfully distance yourself. That’s growth, not failure.

4. The “What If Someone Better Comes?” Trap
Waiting for someone “better” or “God-sent” can become an excuse for emotional indecision. Sometimes what you’re looking for is already in front of you, just not in the perfect package you imagined.

Explore wisely, but don’t let fear of a better option stop you from valuing what’s real today.

5. You’re in Control—Not Your Feelings
You don’t have to “play with your life” just because you feel something. Emotional maturity means knowing when to feel and when to pause, watch, and move with intention.

✅ Final Advice:
Instead of backing off in fear or jumping in blindly, pause and study her quietly—as you said. But also stay open. If she checks out in character, values, and emotional intelligence, it’s okay to explore something real, even if she lives next door.

spiSeyi:
Hmmm OP is playing with his life (say goodbye to your freedom, income, and be ready to live with the pains of seeing her vising bestie )... Don't go there bro bcs in everything you do avoid see finish. What if you find somebody better than her or even a God-sent female friend who will be so closed.
Commot your eyes and relax your brain and study her logically for a few weeks, ask yourself this simple question "Does she worth sacrificing your other relationships & freedom am I ready to contain her excesses if she turns out to be the opposite of who she's ".
Once again that if you are not ready to take her as your wife, spend heavily, foot her bills and not ready to let go of your freedom don't go there. Bcs dating a neighbor is just a step away from living a couples life.