NewStats: 3,265,323 , 8,186,383 topics. Date: Saturday, 14 June 2025 at 12:47 PM 12a3w

How old is your wife? How many kids do you have and how long have you been married?

A lady I wanted to marry some years ago tried this nonsense with me, she thought that because I had invested so much on d marriage plans, that I can't leave her anymore. She'll abandoned me for days and weeks, called her she won't take her calls, returning from work late at night rather than 3pm. I tried in vain to make it work to no avail. I almost lost my self esteem until I summed up courage and left her. She was like, what r u trying to do to us? After u had spent all these amounts of money on our marriage plans? It was a very difficult decision but I had to take it for my sanity. I am not given to cheating in a relationship otherwise, I would had had a mistress outside but I can't just do it. I am much more better now.

Socratiz:
Interesting.

You have this much data on your wife.

How about you?

In what ways are you contributing to the issues in your marriage?

After all, you're not an angel.

You need to also examine yourself.

The truth is, if you divorce her without working on yourself, the same set of problems will arise in your next marriage.

I would rather counsel that you go for therapy.

There's always a solution to any problem if you look for it. But if you seal your mind that there is no solution, then you won't find one.

OP ignore the bolded rubbish.
Just take charge of your home, unless she paid your bride price otherwise man up

XtraFortunes:
This is a lot, but one can't judge till one hears the other side of the story. Good luck

Exactly! There are three sides to every story!

One time on Brekete family after the wife gave her story nobody even wanted to hear the husband - that heartless man. Until the husband was finally allowed to give his side with ing proofs - the table turned dramatically!

It's an unharmful suggestion.

No spacing in the lovely write-up, making the creative content look untidy.

With a bit of spacing and a bit of punctuation marks, it remains a very interesting read.

Copywriting is now a very lucrative skill and who knows you might end-up making additional income with the great skill you posses.

Cheers and have a productive day.

KillahPriest:
thanks for your unsolicited advise but I'm not interested in outsourcing my thought process especially over trivial issues

Ok

Mansa6:


Oga!

Some bit of your advice is good but the part of saying the guy doesn't have confidence is kind of a "knee jerk" conclusion based on what you have taken from the OP's post..

There is NOTHING wrong with the man person say even when we understand that NO ONE is perfect ..

Talking about the man paying his bills and doing what he's supposed to do is an MODERN DAY MANIPULATION tactic used by narcissistic women to gaslight their men..

It's TOTAL GASLIGHTING...if a woman sees that her husband isn't doing as well as she wants or needs,it behoves on her to "switch on" her EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE THINKING MACHINE and do the "hardwork"..

This nonsense of women now giving silly childish excuse of misbehaving because the man isn't living up to his financial/domestic responsibility van ONLY fly for men that are SELF UNAWARE,which the streets erroneously call SIMPS...most people don't even understand the true meaning of being a SIMP..

My advice to the man is NOT to break up the marriage..it's ALWAYS better that anyone who isn't interested in keeping and working on the marriage should be allowed to walk away on their own...

Do your thing..Be your AUTHENTIC self...don't change for ANYONE ,so as to be appreciated more ..change for your own personal good..

Most men that are still.married for upwards of 25 years and above have seen such behavior in their wives at a pint in their lives but maybe a slightly different versions..

IGNORE HER!

I am speaking from personal experience..been married for over 2 decades and have seen this kind of behavior..

you're right but when I say pay bills or handle all responsibilities expected of him as a man, I want him to fulfil all righteousness for himself, the kids and especially just in case outsiders like family elders try to intervene or ask questions about what would have made the wife go haywire. I'm happy you're experienced in this game and I'm sure you know that women have one crazy mentality on stepping all over men with calm demeanors or as we say, good guys so there's no need keeping things in the chest, tell her shes fùcking up but if she continues especially on this path he's facing then as for me, it's all out war. There's a case I'm mediating right now that I don't want to talk about here but as we speak, the woman and her people are begging because true true, township na mind. Married women always forget that those men outside who tickle their ears only want a few weeks of adventure and never commitment. So like you said, if she wants to go, she can go but I'll advise him to cushion that effect by making himself presentable and indeed letting her know that there are many fishes ready in the river

My brother. I can relate to your situation. You see all that you said about your wife, my wife is all that and more. Your wife is an angel compared to my outgoing wife. As for me our divorce is in court and by God's grace the divorce will be sorted out in the next 2 months maximum. Then I will come to nairaland and celebrate. My brother take it easy. No amount is too much for your freedom and peace of mind. That's my mantra.

I hope it turns out well for you and also for her. It's best to go your separate ways that for one of you to lose your life. It's well with you my brother.

This is too properly written to be genuine . The caps, the fonting... Too composed for me to detect any sign of emotional distress and alas the picture which convinces me that this is an article walahhi

KillahPriest:
You don't need to shout or beg anymore, your wife is quarter gone out of the house already so the best thing is to look out for yourself and the kids. If its possible to get a lesson teacher and house keeper that comes once or twice a week, I believe you should take that option and don't even bother about asking her permission/input. Also take care of yourself by dressing sharp (if you dont) and smelling nice, go out more often even if it's to the gym. If your house is big, take a separate room from hers and don't ever bother her about sèx again. Give her anything she wants financially but allow her fly. You're a guy man so you should know women need rivals once in a while and it's just the sad world we live in. If you cant cheat then, get a bestie or rent a babe but you gan need to unload so how we wan do am now You gats blow outside Anyways, no follow am drag anything again even if she open mouth say she wan go, open door quietly and give her thirty minutes to move her stuff, nobody go tell her say township na mind, na she go find out by herself. Your main issue is that you lack self confidence which is very important when dealing with these our women. See, even if she involves her parents or whoever, you have to calmly tell them that their daughter is useless and you didnt know from day one that she lacked home training as a decent woman but no wahala. My advice is under the assumption that you're doing your full duties financially as a father and husband and if you're not, go wash your head for your papa village

Killaboi, why do you write this long epistle without paragraphing? Is it because you don't want me to read it?

kpankpangolo:
No way I will read all that. It’s too lengthy and structured. I’m guessing it was the work of a bot.

You don’t have to read all. You can glance through

KillahPriest killed it.

KillahPriest:
You don't need to shout or beg anymore, your wife is quarter gone out of the house already so the best thing is to look out for yourself and the kids. If its possible to get a lesson teacher and house keeper that comes once or twice a week, I believe you should take that option and don't even bother about asking her permission/input. Also take care of yourself by dressing sharp (if you dont) and smelling nice, go out more often even if it's to the gym. If your house is big, take a separate room from hers and don't ever bother her about sèx again. Give her anything she wants financially but allow her fly. You're a guy man so you should know women need rivals once in a while and it's just the sad world we live in. If you cant cheat then, get a bestie or rent a babe but you gan need to unload so how we wan do am now You gats blow outside Anyways, no follow am drag anything again even if she open mouth say she wan go, open door quietly and give her thirty minutes to move her stuff, nobody go tell her say township na mind, na she go find out by herself. Your main issue is that you lack self confidence which is very important when dealing with these our women. See, even if she involves her parents or whoever, you have to calmly tell them that their daughter is useless and you didnt know from day one that she lacked home training as a decent woman but no wahala. My advice is under the assumption that you're doing your full duties financially as a father and husband and if you're not, go wash your head for your papa village

What happened prior to this change? I'm sure she wasn't like this in the beginning. What did you do to her? You cannot be a saint in all of these.
Men make women change.

Walai:
Can someone give me at least one convincing reason to get married apart from children (I can get any number of children without getting married) and sex (the cheapest commodity right now) ?

The road is very expensive. From Experience o, not all would want to hold the kids especially when they know you are never getting married to them. Indirectly you wan run single dad way. HMMMN!!!!!! And thinking about your relatives to care for your kid the way you would want them to is outrageous. BUT IS STILL BETTER 80% OF THE MARRIAGES I KNOW OF. Most of my married guys and ladies are always SOBER like they just exist or feel trapped.... WEIRD WORLD SHA. BUT STILL 🤣
SINGLE DAD WAY NA SAY JUST REARRANGE YOUR TIMETABLE, E BE LIKE ROBOTIC LIFE

My phylosopy in marriage and relationships generally is that, if you try to put it in and it doesn't enter, by all means don't force it. Your happiness is paramount in a relationship. No half measures.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no t planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of ivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

you did not mentioned any of ur own bad habit. Has she ever cough u in extra marital affair?.

[quote author=busariabeyx24 post=135079835]Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no t planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of ivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.[she is a narcissist
]

The OP's wife has her issues, very obviously, but even from the narration I can already pick out one or two of your own issues. Nagging is one of them. OP, you are a nag. Don't ask me how I know.

Be that as it may, I don't see these problems as the cause of an irreversible cause for breakdown. Your marriage can still be salvaged at this point. Get help from experienced marriage counselors.

When a thing is broken, try fixing it before throwing it away.

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no t planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of ivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

Reason 1, 2 and 4 are more than enough to know the relationship you have with her will never make you happy.

Women are to fond of doing number 1 and they don't know they are just g the death warrant of their relationship.

It's obvious she is cheating on you

You married your enemy, sorry for that. After the breakup she would probably weaponize your kids' emotions against you - that would be tough, you would have to prepare emotionally for that. There probably were subtle signs you chose to ignore during dating. You need to get closer to God at this hard time, He would heal you and give you a fresh start most likely with someone else. A bad spouse is not the end of the world.

kpankpangolo:
No way I will read all that. It’s too lengthy and structured. I’m guessing it was the work of a bot.

I felt the same way. Like a standard textbook for exam

Having issues and denying every responsibility as a woman breaks a good home.As a good wife,she has to learn how to be patient, understanding and humble.
Anything that happens both of them should sit down and discuss then settle the issue than nagging and spreading the news to friends and family....

busariabeyx24:
Why I Want to Separate from My Wife

Our relationship has become emotionally unsustainable for me, and after long periods of silence, inner conflict, and attempts to make things work, I have come to the difficult conclusion that separation is the healthiest path forward—for both of us. There are several deeply rooted issues that have contributed to this decision, and I believe it’s important to lay them out clearly.

1. Lack of Intimacy and Weaponization of Sex
Intimacy has all but vanished in our relationship. What’s more painful is that she uses sex as a tool—to control, punish, or manipulate. This has left me feeling undesired, unwanted, and emotionally abandoned. Intimacy is not just physical, it's also about connection, vulnerability, and shared closeness—and we have none of that left.

2. Emotional Abandonment and Loneliness
While she often chooses to go out and spend hours with her friends, I’m left alone in the house, feeling isolated and neglected. Even when we’re in the same space, we’re disconnected. Her priorities have shifted away from our relationship and family, and I feel like a ghost in my own home.

3. Neglect of Parental Responsibilities
Despite being a trained teacher, she makes no effort to the children academically. Their homework, school needs, and learning challenges fall entirely on me, even though I’m also the primary provider. It hurts to watch our children miss out on guidance that she’s perfectly capable of giving.

4. Communication Breakdown
We barely talk. When we do, it's either transactional or tense. There's no emotional sharing, no t planning, no meaningful conversation. We exist like two strangers under the same roof.

5. Disregard for My Input and
Time and again, I’ve offered her advice that could have helped her avoid unnecessary stress or mistakes, but she disregards me—only to later face the exact consequences I warned about. It feels like my voice has no value in her life.

6. Encouraging Poor Habits in the Kids
She not only neglects the kids’ school work, but she also encourages them to go to the next neighborhood to play or hang out—at times when they should be studying or resting. It undermines my efforts to instill discipline and focus in our children.

7. Lack of Respect for My Hustle
She shows no interest or concern in how I make money, the pressure I’m under, or the sacrifices I make to keep the family going. There’s no appreciation, no empathy, just entitlement and expectation. I feel invisible, like a machine that’s supposed to produce without rest or recognition.

8. Misplaced Priorities
Her life seems to revolve around eating, watching TV, and spending hours gossiping with friends. There’s little to no effort toward improving our household, our relationship, or our children’s future. That kind of ivity is damaging, not just for our marriage but for our family as a whole.

9. Manipulation by Friends
She allows her so-called friends to influence how she treats me, even to the point of disrespect. Rather than defending or standing by me as a partner, she lets their words shape her actions against me. This betrayal by proxy is incredibly painful.

10. Ongoing Emotional Disregard
As I write this, she has been outside gossiping with a friend for over three hours—leaving me inside, emotionally abandoned once again. This isn’t an isolated event; it’s a pattern. I’ve begged for her time, attention, and partnership, but she chooses others over and over again.

XtraFortunes:
This is a lot, but one can't judge till one hears the other side of the story. Good luck

Does it really matter to judge in this kind of thing? Any party who is tired should end it and get out, simple.

This is exactly the problem I have with my former wife,Walahi there is no any difference
Thank God with my second wife, she give me exactly what I have been missing from first wife
God will see you through my brother

Westerhoffe:

Matthew 5 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
³¹ It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
³² But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19 (KJV)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath ed together, let not man put asunder.

You for kuku read to us the original Hebrew version so we know you are not reading us a faulty translation.

tempex88:
Topic should be "WHY I WANT TO SEPARATE FROM MY HUSBAND"

Right 👍