NewStats: 3,261,178 , 8,173,303 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 12:59 PM 4b3z25

The golden rule in counselling, be it spiritual, sociological or medical is that whatever information is entrusted to you is done in confidence, at moment of vulnerability and must not even at the pain of death be shared with anyone else.
And here you are opening a thread on nairaland to narate what was shared with you in confidence....

When one decides to suffer the flesh by abstaining from pleasure, that's when you see opportunities to loose guard.
I believe there is a star that comes from attaining max discipline. You just have to be steadfast with your purpose

I feel you brother. It takes the grace of God to remain sexually pure but try to do these things sir.

1. Do not counsel a lady alone in a private alone. Ensure that you do your counseling with other brothers around. I do not mean they should be privy to the conversation; they can just be at a place to monitor and observe what is happening.

2. Have times for counselling. Do not just be unnecessarily accessible at all times. If a person needs counselling, tell them to meet you at a place where you can have your trusted guys around. By trusted, I mean guys that are also sexually pure like you and believe in holiness.

3. Do not receive night calls for counselling if possible.

4. Do not go beyond a certain number of minutes on the phone with of the opposite sex.

5. Know that not all women want counselling. Some just want sex with a man of God. You see this category, just run from them. Pray for them from afar. They do not need counselling.

6. Have ability partners most likely senior men with pedigree and a track record of sexual purity and let them share the secrets of how they have remained sexually pure with you.

God will help us all.

MrOreo:

Oga go in to details na! What's with all this small small gist you're dropping??

Pervert

How people get erection for married women is strange to me sha.

Married woman someone pounds every night with venom is what I will be aspiring for. I don't feel anything for married women at all. If you package without ring I may look at you and ire but immediately I found out you are married, I forget you instantly. A married ex ones sent me message one day say make I send her porrn video, I was like, which kind nonsense be that, talk to your husband abeg. She come dey beg oo, I shouted at her, she run. I will rather go for teenagers than any married woman, if you like naked.

Pele....even I understand what you're saying. It is well jare. People tend to fall into emotional entanglement when they are the most vulnerable. Epele to you, the woman, her spouse and every stakeholder of the wahala in their life

Blitzking:

Not that easy..u will be adding petrol to fire..before u know she she will direct ur hands to her wet pussssyyy and then ur brain will activate.

You guys will be making somebody's dick hard every time when one is trying to be more focused in life...

Well, you put yourself in that position by being unwise and careless.

In this day and age, does anybody need to be told to be in the company of a witness when counseling people of the opposite gender?!!

That's basic common sense 101... Especially where accusations of sexual assault have become rife.

Even doctors need a nurse present within the vicinity of consultations with married or single women, or a camera recording every interaction.


Some Pastors even claim to be doing follow-up on new converts and who are ladies in their houses all by themselves...!

Na una know wetin una dey find... God no send una that one.


The Bible clearly warns that we should take heed those that think they stand lest they fall... It says flee every appearance of evil.

Being alone in privacy with a young woman as a man for any reason you give it is just STUPID!

The fight to remain sexually pure as a man is not an easy one.

Using myself as an example. I have never had canal knowledge of anything call a woman for the past 1 and a half year now and still counting. I don't engage in sexual activities. But the temptations during this period is quite intense.

However, what has been my backbone is the fact that there are no gains in living a sexual immoral lifestyle. I don't attend any church. But I can tell you that I live a life of sexual holiness.

You know that moment when you decide to stay pure is when the temptation of women usually intensifies.

The race of righteousness and holiness is not an easy one. Only those that have made up their minds can sustain it till the end.

Pastor, I commend your tenacity of being able to resist the temptations of sexual immorality that came knocking on your door.

But please you still need to build a more stronger concrete walls and spirit against falling for this later in the future. Because you will still encounter more of these now or later in the future.

bamosagie:
The golden rule in counselling, be it spiritual, sociological or medical is that whatever information is entrusted to you is done in confidence, at moment of vulnerability and must not even at the pain of death be shared with anyone else.
And here you are opening a thread on nairaland to narate what was shared with you in confidence....

I know for a fact... And it's not as if I'm stupid enough to discuss it with her neighbors or church ....
And don't we sometimes see pastors use knowledge from counselling to drive points home in some of their sermon without revealing the person?
Nairaland is anonymous..... That's why I left out a lot of details that can link the identity.

FreeSpirited:
You will never understand what it means to fall into grave sexual temptation until you start living a sexually pure life or until you decide to work for God.
.
I'm not yet a pastor in full time ministry but I can tell you the truth based on series of temptation I get these days, the work of a pastor is one of the hardest when it comes to standing against sexual temptation.
Yesterday I also perfectly understood why pastors fall for married women or ladies whose marriage or relationship is in crises during counseling.
.
The truth is counselling a heart broken woman is a big trap. A big trap that can only take God and courage to not fall into. You will be shocked that the person you are counseling is so vulnerable and sexually primed that the greatest emotions flowing through her at that time is a urge to be touched, cuddled, caressed and knacked. I saw everything last night, and my defence began to crack, wane, weakened and almost dissolved completely while the lady was begging time for me to touch her.
.
It was yesterday I realized that deciding to live a holy life or deciding to be a pastor means that you have only signed yourself into continuous sexual temptation. No wonder most pastors fail! I thought I had won the demon of temptation until I experienced the dimension of counseling a broken married lady.
.
I won't go into the story. It's a long crazy one. But pastors will understand what I'm saying .... And if you have not counselled a heartbroken woman either married or single... You can never understand. How I escaped without crashing totally is a mystery.

Welcome to the club brother.

the Club where, you will stand at the CROSSROAD of Decision everytime

Women are devils. And a clean guy, holy guy is their target food for the purposes of destroying and converting him into the regular fornicating and adultery filled men we know

They would open their evil pit legs faster than a speeding Ferrari''s cam shaft.

For Free!

And you would see all the most beautiful and most beautifuller women throwing themselves and opening their evil holes for you even if you are an ugly man.

When you are holy you will truly see that God and Satan are real

FreeSpirited:

Oga... The thing is... I even have the full record of our discussion while she's unaware..cos I wanted to use that to focus my thought on the advise I was dishing.. . I don't have to prove anything to u.... Even with the voice record, after I stopped it, I still almost messed up at some point due to her vulnerability

With story you narrated, it's obvious the woman fell for you at first sight and you urself playing* into her manipulation, all the story she is narrating after seeing you are just cock & bull story, giving dog bad names in other to hang it.

Just like someone accused you up thr, your story not consistent.
*How can wife of P A. to pastor locked her wife for going to church program?
*If it's happens, why can wife call pastor, his boss, but prefer to tell a total stranger.
*Wife that claims to be born again, but ready to open legs for total stranger without even stress her an inch.

baralatie:

And i am not God to judge
What i am saying is the story is not true
It is true that infidelity happens even amongst some ministers I have seen Wella
But to say the wife is a worker in church and the husband is the pastors p.a and the husband is fighting the wife for going to church.tye story get k leg

Oga shut up and get lost. If you're not interested or doubt the credibility of the story then go away. Why are you running everywhere crying foul?

You're naive and inexperienced.. sit down and listen to people that have seen things and have stories to tell but.. NO!

You need more of Jesus. You need to be sanctified. Ask God to do it for you. Read your Bible well and pray.

Stop making a mole out of a stone!! Konji no be anybody's mate, the reason why most pastors fall to such temptations is over confidence forgetting that they were men with third leg like other men
Let an elderly married woman councel the ladies and whatever things you need to do with any woman that's not your wife that can't be done in the public should be cancelled.
The best way out of konji is to create a boundary and never go near it.

seborrhic:

Rubbish.
You must be a lustful human being to even contemplate compromising your pastoral work to want to sleep with not just a lady that comes to you for counselling,but a married one at that.
Be deceiving yourself that you are being tempted when it's the lust in you that's driving you.
Any woman even going to a Nigerian pastor for marriage counsellor is a big f ool and is not going actually for counseling but to see if she will see her fellow sexually starved pervert

Well done RoboCop, Robot. The one that never gets tempted, well done o. Now get lost.

TheBreastSucker:
Next time you find yourself in such a situation just suck her breasts and move o because it is not considered as cheating

Devil, May you live and die with all kinds of cancers and painfull diseases that you can never treat

Mcslize:
The fight to remain sexually pure as a man is not an easy one.

Using myself as an example. I have never had canal knowledge of anything call a woman for the past 1 and a half year now and still counting. I don't engage in sexual activities. But the temptations during this period is quite intense.

However, what has been my backbone is the fact that there are no gains in living a sexual immoral lifestyle. I don't attend any church. But I can tell you that I live a life of sexual holiness.

You know that moment when you decide to stay pure is when the temptation of women usually intensifies.

The race of righteousness and holiness is not an easy one. Only those that have made up their minds can sustain it till the end.

Pastor, I commend your tenacity of being able to resist the temptations of sexual immorality that came knocking on your door.

But please you still need to build a concrete walls and strong spirit against falling for this later in the future. Because you will still encounter more of these now or later in the future.

I'm not even a pastor in the strict sense of the word though I'm trying to live a life of holiness because God's call is imminent.
I'm a normal worldly guy in very recent past until couple of years I changed my course cos of an encounter. And as u put it... The temptation is great but God has helped me conquer other corresponding addictions.

But I keep learning everyday how to avoid pitfalls... And like yesterday I over estimated my self will... I had to stop the nonsense when it was obvious she was oversensitive to every word, look or touch... It's a big lesson i have never learned since I started living purposely against sexual immorality

FreeSpirited:

I won't go into the story. It's a long crazy one. But pastors will understand what I'm saying .... And if you have not counselled a heartbroken woman either married or single... You can never understand. How I escaped without crashing totally is a mystery.

I do tell people that Pastors need prayers more than cos the temptation is just too much especially sexual temptation and others... For example it's when it's time to preach you will understand the next level of temptation that is even higher than sexual temptation... In your words, only Pastors will understand...

That's because you counselled her alone. Scripture says, "But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed, James 1:14. So the temptation you felt isn't because you were counseling a married woman, that situation only amplified what was already inside sir. There's a lust deep inside seeking expression and until that's rooted out, you will keep being tempted, whether it's a vulnerable married woman or young single girl and ultimately it might lead to sin. So deal with that lust.

Someone else will counsel that same woman, without the slightest desire to 'knack' her. Just to help her see God's will clearly through his word.

FreeSpirited:
You will never understand what it means to fall into grave sexual temptation until you start living a sexually pure life or until you decide to work for God.
.
I'm not yet a pastor in full time ministry but I can tell you the truth based on series of temptation I get these days, the work of a pastor is one of the hardest when it comes to standing against sexual temptation.
Yesterday I also perfectly understood why pastors fall for married women or ladies whose marriage or relationship is in crises during counseling.
.
The truth is counselling a heart broken woman is a big trap. A big trap that can only take God and courage to not fall into. You will be shocked that the person you are counseling is so vulnerable and sexually primed that the greatest emotions flowing through her at that time is a urge to be touched, cuddled, caressed and knacked. I saw everything last night, and my defence began to crack, wane, weakened and almost dissolved completely while the lady was begging time for me to touch her.
.
It was yesterday I realized that deciding to live a holy life or deciding to be a pastor means that you have only signed yourself into continuous sexual temptation. No wonder most pastors fail! I thought I had won the demon of temptation until I experienced the dimension of counseling a broken married lady.
.
I won't go into the story. It's a long crazy one. But pastors will understand what I'm saying .... And if you have not counselled a heartbroken woman either married or single... You can never understand. How I escaped without crashing totally is a mystery.

As a pastor you don't counsel the opposite sex alone talk less of spending time with them alone.

Some churches don't even allow those in courtship to be alone talk less of a pastor_are you superman??

It's only lustful pastors that pray and counsel women alone.

FreeSpirited:
You will never understand what it means to fall into grave sexual temptation until you start living a sexually pure life or until you decide to work for God.
.
I'm not yet a pastor in full time ministry but I can tell you the truth based on series of temptation I get these days, the work of a pastor is one of the hardest when it comes to standing against sexual temptation.
Yesterday I also perfectly understood why pastors fall for married women or ladies whose marriage or relationship is in crises during counseling.
.
The truth is counselling a heart broken woman is a big trap. A big trap that can only take God and courage to not fall into. You will be shocked that the person you are counseling is so vulnerable and sexually primed that the greatest emotions flowing through her at that time is a urge to be touched, cuddled, caressed and knacked. I saw everything last night, and my defence began to crack, wane, weakened and almost dissolved completely while the lady was begging time for me to touch her.
.
It was yesterday I realized that deciding to live a holy life or deciding to be a pastor means that you have only signed yourself into continuous sexual temptation. No wonder most pastors fail! I thought I had won the demon of temptation until I experienced the dimension of counseling a broken married lady.
.
I won't go into the story. It's a long crazy one. But pastors will understand what I'm saying .... And if you have not counselled a heartbroken woman either married or single... You can never understand. How I escaped without crashing totally is a mystery.

If Joseph, the son of Jacob can resist the sexual advances and temptations of Potiphar's wife, then any determined pastor can resist the temptation of any married woman in marriage crisis irrespective of how emotional she is or how pumped up her bust or ass is.

FreeSpirited:
And to think this is just a 7months old marriage. And lady is already crying that she wants to go back to being single. I shock.. To even realise lady was too emotionally stressed by the whole thing that she just want an emotional cushion that will be knakking her as coping mechanism. Really crazy

Hmm

Are you really a counsellor or u r just deceivibg yourself..

This is a cock and bull story you just pulled out of ya panties guy..

FreeSpirited:


Are you this stvpid or naive to not know many churchy religious men have bad marriage while maintaining fake love in public?.. I have seen many including pastors... This shows u are a baby...
And I never claimed I don't have deficiency.
The fact that I allow her to come to my place is one deficiency cos I could smell from her chats that she needed more than encouragement... I had to battle with my willpower to control my hormone..... Same lady first asked me about where to get hotel for cooling off..... I had to deflect it cos I know the meaning... telling her to come over was a risk... Instead of sit down and learn u are talking trash

you obviously aren't thinking deep.... You don't know what you're talking about..... No make me laugh abeg

FreeSpirited:
And to think this is just a 7months old marriage. And lady is already crying that she wants to go back to being single. I shock.. To even realise lady was too emotionally stressed by the whole thing that she just want an emotional cushion that will be knakking her as coping mechanism. Really crazy

Guy, stop listening to women. Alll these are their ploys to pound your defences until you break.

And they know that you may not fall for this one pounding but it is a set up for you to fall for the one that has not yet come.

Cut off from taking and relating with them. It is super dangerous. No righteous man stood by being around these devils.

If you must speak speak through a 3rd party.

And know this, they actually do not need your counsel THEY ARE JUST MAKING THEMSELVES AVAILABLE SO THAT YOU WOULD FALL INTO THEM.

And check it the second you fvck 1, all these attacks will immediately stop.

And then you would know that Satan is real.

Just don't get caught while doing it. The consequence of cheating is not the same for men and women in society.

The above is for women who want to "get it out of their system." If not lack of contentment, it is not needed. The thought of it even makes me puke.

eastOFwest:


Exactly. Sadly, some women need to cheat first before they realise the value of their marriage. Some just have to get it out of their system and will never do it again. Sort of "marriage character building." Don't ask me why

StillDtruth:


Devil, May you live and die with all kinds of cancers and painfull diseases that you can never treat

Ahn Ahn...na person e kill? Why all these gibberish?
You sabi curse na him you never help us finish Fulani herdsmen wey dey kpai Nigerians on a daily? Gtfoh

FreeSpirited is lusty guy whom is looking for a prey to knack and chop. Your story is just full of unexpressive lust you want to project on someone..

ejieddy:
That's because you counselled her alone. Scripture says, "But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed, James 1:14. So the temptation you felt isn't because you were counseling a married woman, that situation only amplified what was already inside sir. There's a lust deep inside seeking expression and until that's rooted out, you will keep being tempted, whether it's a vulnerable married woman or young single girl and ultimately it might lead to sin. So deal with that lust.

Someone else will counsel that same woman, without the slightest desire to 'knack' her. Just to help her see God's will clearly through his word.

Im not a man of God but I do try to live a righteous life as best as I can, there was a lady on a dating app in a new city I was in, we matched and got talking and I was straight with her that I won’t be in town for long and just want to knack.
She was down with it and came around 2hrs later, on our way from the junction were I directed and picked her from we head to a restaurant, after ordering and I was about to pay she refused and insisted on paying ,it was shocking to me but I allowed her since she was adamant.
we got home, ate and drank alcohol when she excused herself to take a shower. We took a shower together she got on all fours and sucked me dried while I played her her huge well rounded tits, without drying ourselves off we headed to the bedroom where I knack this woman wetin no good. This lady was thick in the right places and know how to vibrate well. After every ever we dozed off.
I woke up before she did and roll up one, while I was smoking my t I saw her phone charging and casually picked it up to check the make when I realized it wasn’t locked. Brothers and sisters what I saw on her phone sent shivers down my spine , this lady was married with 3 kids and told her husband she was spending the night with her sick mother.
I confronted her about it and her excuse was that I never asked her if she was married. I’m a certified player but that shook even me. When she left I had to pray and beg for forgiveness so my act won’t place a curse on me. Be careful with this wayward ladies guys. They are out here ruining men

By I add that she refused the money I offered, talk about fair exchange

StillDtruth:


Guy, stop listening to women. Alll these are their ploys to pound your defences until you break.

And they know that you may not fall for this one pounding but it is a set up for you to fall for the one that has not yet come.

Cut off from taking and relating with them. It is super dangerous. No righteous man stood by being around these devils.

If you must speak speak through a 3rd party.

And know this, they actually do not need your counsel THEY ARE JUST MAKING THEMSELVES AVAILABLE SO THAT YOU WOULD FALL INTO THEM.

And check it the second you fvck 1, all these attacks will immediately stop.

And then you would know that Satan is real.

I wonder what gender/devils roam around the world looking for whom to steal, kill, rape and destroy? The world would be 99% peaceful without them.