NewStats: 3,265,010 , 8,185,331 topics. Date: Friday, 13 June 2025 at 07:08 AM 3y5b3r

I want to share my predicament here so people can understand what I am going through.

I started living with my sister and her family four years ago when things were going well for me. At the time, I had a job, though it wasn’t paying much, but because I was living with my sister’s family, I had the opportunity to save up to 90% of my salary. Over two years, I managed to save up to ₦500,000, which I entrusted to my mother to keep for me.

My troubles began when I decided to retrieve the money for rent, only for my mother to tell me she had lent it to my sister (the one I was staying with). Apparently, she used the money to pay for her master’s degree. I was completely devastated. Despite my disappointment, I tried to accept my fate and move on.

However, things have been very difficult ever since. The steady flow of money I once had dried up. I eventually lost my job, and since then, I have been unable to secure another one. The only thing keeping me going is my small pig farming business, but it hasn’t started yielding profits. Last year, I was in a very tough financial spot, so I began asking my mother for my money bit by bit. She would sometimes give me ₦10k, ₦20k, or ₦30k, but it was never consistent, and I never got the full amount back.

Recently, something happened that has made my situation even worse. My brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) told me I needed to find my own place before next month. This caught me completely off guard because I am not financially prepared for it. Out of frustration, I confronted him about the money my mother gave to my sister, but he insisted he had no knowledge of it. This has caused serious conflict within the family.

Now, I am stuck. I have nowhere to go, no money for rent, and not even enough to buy a bed, let alone furnish a place. I feel betrayed, abandoned, and helpless. I don’t know what to do or where to turn.

Please, my Nairaland family, I need your advice. What should I do in this situation? How do I navigate this mess? I’m really desperate and need help.

I'm curious, why did you decide to entrust all your earnings in the hand of your mom?

From what you narrated ,the family mentioned are all taking you for granted .
Did your mother really give out your money just like that?
Have you informed her of the quit notice issued to you ?
If she is aware of all these and still nonchalant , the pertinent question to ask is if she is really your mother .
Anyway , involve other family and explain to them what happened .
I believe good old common sense will prevail at the end .

NasirIbnLaAhad:
I'm curious, why did you decide to entrust all your earnings in the hand of your mom?

I was weak, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I saw nothing wrong in entrusting my mom with money; after all, she’s my mother. But what I thought was a simple act of trust has turned into something completely different, something I never saw coming. Now, I find myself questioning everything. Was I too naive? Did I misplace my trust? The weight of disappointment sits heavily on my chest, and the very bond I believed was unbreakable now feels strained. Sometimes, the people we expect to protect us are the ones who unknowingly hurt us the most.

I won't blame you but you shouldn't have kept your money with your mom.

See sometimes as a man you forgot women are emotional too, she may even give it to her pastor to run his business and pay her later.

You have learned a lesson, next time you act manly with your finances.

carl90:
From what you narrated ,the family mentioned are all taking you for granted .
Did your mother really give out your money just like that?
Have you informed her of the quit notice issued to you ?
If she is aware of all these and still nonchalant , the pertinent question to ask is if she is really your mother .
Anyway , involve other family and explain to them what happened .
I believe good old common sense will prevail at the end .

She's telling me that after all, she has given me a little out of it whenever I asked, like that justifies everything. She knew about the quick eviction, yet she still chose to withhold what was meant for me. It’s not just about the money anymore; it’s the betrayal, the disregard, the way she’s messing with my mental health like it means nothing.

Wisdomites:
I won't blame you but you shouldn't have kept your money with your mom.

See sometimes as a man you forgot women are emotional too, she may even give it to her pastor to run his business and pay her later.

You have learned a lesson, next time you act manly with your finances.

I entrusted her with my savings, believing it was the right thing to do. After all, I’ve seen footballers entrust their mothers with their wealth, and it never seemed like a bad idea. I thought a mother’s love would come with responsibility and care, but now, I’m starting to question if I was wrong to trust so easily.

Ibkay32:


I entrusted her with my savings, believing it was the right thing to do. After all, I’ve seen footballers entrust their mothers with their wealth, and it never seemed like a bad idea. I thought a mother’s love would come with responsibility and care, but now, I’m starting to question if I was wrong to trust so easily.

Are you a footballer?

genkins:


Are you a footballer?

Bro, my chest feels so heavy, I almost cracked a rib.

At this point ,you have to behave like a mad man.
Get other family and ensure that your mother ,sister and husband refund your cash back to you or they withdraw that quit notice .
Na for under bridge you go sleep ?
I guess if you decide to be a gentleman in this matter ,it is that under bridge that you will sleep.
Wishing you all the best.

Ibkay32:


She's telling me that after all, she has given me a little out of it whenever I asked, like that justifies everything. She knew about the quick eviction, yet she still chose to withhold what was meant for me. It’s not just about the money anymore; it’s the betrayal, the disregard, the way she’s messing with my mental health like it means nothing.

carl90:
At this point ,you have to behave like a mad man.
Get other family and ensure that your mother ,sister and husband refund your cash back to you or they withdraw that quit notice .
Na for under bridge you go sleep ?
I guess if you decide to be a gentleman in this matter ,it is that under bridge that you will sleep.
Wishing you all the best.

My sister's husband and I almost got into a fight today, and now everyone in the family 're focusing only on the negative side of what I said.

Next time put your money in the bank you should not expect anyone to keep that amount of money without touching it you didn't tell her you will be needing the money soon at least you should have given her like 3 months notice so it is also your fault

JAOS:
Next time put your money in the bank you should not expect anyone to keep that amount of money without touching it you didn't tell her you will be needing the money soon at least you should have given her like 3 months notice so it is also your fault

I have learnt my life lesson

If the whole family is against you ,involve human rights .
I think you will find them in a police station close to you.

Ibkay32:


My sister's husband and I almost got into a fight today, and now everyone in the family 're focusing only on the negative side of what I said.

carl90:
If the whole family is against you ,involve human rights .
I think you will find them in a police station close to you.

I have called one of my friends which is a police officer

Ibkay32:
I want to share my predicament here so people can understand what I am going through.

I started living with my sister and her family four years ago when things were going well for me. At the time, I had a job, though it wasn’t paying much, but because I was living with my sister’s family, I had the opportunity to save up to 90% of my salary. Over two years, I managed to save up to ₦500,000, which I entrusted to my mother to keep for me.

My troubles began when I decided to retrieve the money for rent, only for my mother to tell me she had lent it to my sister (the one I was staying with). Apparently, she used the money to pay for her master’s degree. I was completely devastated. Despite my disappointment, I tried to accept my fate and move on.

However, things have been very difficult ever since. The steady flow of money I once had dried up. I eventually lost my job, and since then, I have been unable to secure another one. The only thing keeping me going is my small pig farming business, but it hasn’t started yielding profits. Last year, I was in a very tough financial spot, so I began asking my mother for my money bit by bit. She would sometimes give me ₦10k, ₦20k, or ₦30k, but it was never consistent, and I never got the full amount back.

Recently, something happened that has made my situation even worse. My brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) told me I needed to find my own place before next month. This caught me completely off guard because I am not financially prepared for it. Out of frustration, I confronted him about the money my mother gave to my sister, but he insisted he had no knowledge of it. This has caused serious conflict within the family.

Now, I am stuck. I have nowhere to go, no money for rent, and not even enough to buy a bed, let alone furnish a place. I feel betrayed, abandoned, and helpless. I don’t know what to do or where to turn.

Please, my Nairaland family, I need your advice. What should I do in this situation? How do I navigate this mess? I’m really desperate and need help.

So you had this problem which you should have been focusing on solving but instead you were opening a thread to fight Samantha!

PantShifter:


So you had this problem which you should have been focusing on solving but instead you were opening a thread to fight Samantha!

Who doesn’t have personal struggles, aside from the collective challenges we’re all facing in the country right now? Or Does Samantha told you she doesn't has her personal issues apart from trolling Nigerian here?
Everyone is dealing with something, whether it's stress, uncertainty, or silent battles no one sees. Life has a way of testing us all in different ways.

Ibkay32:
I want to share my predicament here so people can understand what I am going through.

I started living with my sister and her family four years ago when things were going well for me. At the time, I had a job, though it wasn’t paying much, but because I was living with my sister’s family, I had the opportunity to save up to 90% of my salary. Over two years, I managed to save up to ₦500,000, which I entrusted to my mother to keep for me.

My troubles began when I decided to retrieve the money for rent, only for my mother to tell me she had lent it to my sister (the one I was staying with). Apparently, she used the money to pay for her master’s degree. I was completely devastated. Despite my disappointment, I tried to accept my fate and move on.

However, things have been very difficult ever since. The steady flow of money I once had dried up. I eventually lost my job, and since then, I have been unable to secure another one. The only thing keeping me going is my small pig farming business, but it hasn’t started yielding profits. Last year, I was in a very tough financial spot, so I began asking my mother for my money bit by bit. She would sometimes give me ₦10k, ₦20k, or ₦30k, but it was never consistent, and I never got the full amount back.

Recently, something happened that has made my situation even worse. My brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) told me I needed to find my own place before next month. This caught me completely off guard because I am not financially prepared for it. Out of frustration, I confronted him about the money my mother gave to my sister, but he insisted he had no knowledge of it. This has caused serious conflict within the family.

Now, I am stuck. I have nowhere to go, no money for rent, and not even enough to buy a bed, let alone furnish a place. I feel betrayed, abandoned, and helpless. I don’t know what to do or where to turn.

Please, my Nairaland family, I need your advice. What should I do in this situation? How do I navigate this mess? I’m really desperate and need help.

there is a proverb that says “how I wish my parents were alive is a foolish thing to say”! A good mother will rally round to raise that money back for you and even add to it knowing fully well you are in need of it at this time. this is what can make one commit felony on a loved one out of anger and frustration. After it happens the useless authorities will not care to look into what really resulted to the act, if it was the person’s fault 💯 or not. All one will be hearing in the news is that a young man has killed his parents. May it never be our portion.

Young man, very sorry for all these. It’s quite unfortunate all you have experienced. What I can advise is that just take it as the rent you paid while living with them. Forfeit it, they are your family. Don’t fight anyone or have grudges. God know why.! You had thought they were there when you needed them but unfortunately, they have collected the pay. Did you bother asking your sister about it directly what your mother told you? Your mum did badly for not letting you know before making such decisions. This can not be a woman that wish you well. Avoid her at all cost in order to progress in life. Thrive to get a place no matter how demeaning. It’s for the mean time. Pick any work, don’t look down on any for now. Plan on getting married soon, to overcome distractions any longer. Not all parents are good.

Afolue:
there is a proverb that says “how I wish my parents were alive is a foolish thing to say”! A good mother will rally round to raise that money back for you and even add to it knowing fully well you are in need of it at this time. this is what can make one commit felony on a loved one out of anger and frustration. After it happens the useless authorities will not care to look into what really resulted to the act, if it was the person’s fault 💯 or not. All one will be hearing in the news is that a young man has killed his parents. May it never be our portion.

Young man, very sorry for all these. It’s quite unfortunate all you have experienced. What I can advise is that just take it as the rent you paid while living with them. Forfeit it, they are your family. Don’t fight anyone or have grudges. God know why.! You had thought they were there when you needed them but unfortunately, they have collected the pay. Did you bother asking your sister about it directly what your mother told you? Your mum did badly for not letting you know before making such decisions. This can not be a woman that wish you well. Avoid her at all cost in order to progress in life. Thrive to get a place no matter how demeaning. It’s for the mean time. Pick any work, don’t look down on any for now. Plan on getting married soon, to overcome distractions any longer. Not all parents are good.

Thanks for your kind words words brother 🙏

Ibkay32:


I have called one of my friends which is a police officer

To do.what exactly ?
As for keeping money with ur mom.. it is not a terrible thing.. it is ur mum... but then i expect that she step in to talk to ur sister to keep u in her house as u don't have anywhere to go and it was ur money that she used in assisting her... For God sake, even if this money is not in the picture, wouldnt ur sister be considerate of ur having nowhere to go, wouldnt ur múm appeal to them on ur behalf?

Anyways, leave all of that behind.. just imagine u didnt have any savings anywhere and they asked u to leave-- what would u do? Beg them, go to leave with ur mum, squat with a friend, cousin? Just think like that and stop all the fighting..Just trust God for a way out and move on.

carl90:
At this point ,you have to behave like a mad man.
Get other family and ensure that your mother ,sister and husband refund your cash back to you or they withdraw that quit notice .
Na for under bridge you go sleep ?
I guess if you decide to be a gentleman in this matter ,it is that under bridge that you will sleep.
Wishing you all the best.

Before giving him this bad advice, did you consider that he had been living with his brother in-law (his mother and sister aside) for FOUR GOOD YEARS?
Living under his roof, and eating his food for free, and probably contributing little to nothing.
Did you consider that? Put yourself in the brother in-law's place and reason it.

Ibkay32:


I was weak, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I saw nothing wrong in entrusting my mom with money; after all, she’s my mother. But what I thought was a simple act of trust has turned into something completely different, something I never saw coming. Now, I find myself questioning everything. Was I too naive? Did I misplace my trust? The weight of disappointment sits heavily on my chest, and the very bond I believed was unbreakable now feels strained. Sometimes, the people we expect to protect us are the ones who unknowingly hurt us the most.

when we were young, all the money visitors gifted you and ur mother collected from you in the name of saving it for you, how many did she return??

Na same mother u entrusted all ur savings with..lol, oga u go learn, u never start...next time u go tink like a man and act like same.

Imagine me carry my savings give my mama when no be say I am not adult enough to manage my finances.

Ibkay32:


I entrusted her with my savings, believing it was the right thing to do. After all, I’ve seen footballers entrust their mothers with their wealth, and it never seemed like a bad idea. I thought a mother’s love would come with responsibility and care, but now, I’m starting to question if I was wrong to trust so easily.

footballers did same??

Have u forgotten that footballers deals with fortunes, wealth and properties and not a paltry changes like urs.


How much will footballers mother spend from what is kept with them that will affect their sins the way u re affected now??

carl90:
If the whole family is against you ,involve human rights .
I think you will find them in a police station close to you.

Aahh

Fight wey we dey use fist fight, u don go carry bazooka

Ibkay32:


Thanks for your kind words words brother 🙏

forget about the money and move on. We may win some and lose some

OlawaleBammie:
footballers did same??

Have u forgotten that footballers deals with fortunes, wealth and properties and not a paltry changes like urs.


How much will footballers mother spend from what is kept with them that will affect their sins the way u re affected now??

💯

The guy forget say footballers money looong. Even if their mothers spend out of it, there will still be more than enough to go round.

Ibkay32:
I want to share my predicament here so people can understand what I am going through.

I started living with my sister and her family four years ago when things were going well for me. At the time, I had a job, though it wasn’t paying much, but because I was living with my sister’s family, I had the opportunity to save up to 90% of my salary. Over two years, I managed to save up to ₦500,000, which I entrusted to my mother to keep for me.

My troubles began when I decided to retrieve the money for rent, only for my mother to tell me she had lent it to my sister (the one I was staying with). Apparently, she used the money to pay for her master’s degree. I was completely devastated. Despite my disappointment, I tried to accept my fate and move on.

However, things have been very difficult ever since. The steady flow of money I once had dried up. I eventually lost my job, and since then, I have been unable to secure another one. The only thing keeping me going is my small pig farming business, but it hasn’t started yielding profits. Last year, I was in a very tough financial spot, so I began asking my mother for my money bit by bit. She would sometimes give me ₦10k, ₦20k, or ₦30k, but it was never consistent, and I never got the full amount back.

Recently, something happened that has made my situation even worse. My brother-in-law (my sister’s husband) told me I needed to find my own place before next month. This caught me completely off guard because I am not financially prepared for it. Out of frustration, I confronted him about the money my mother gave to my sister, but he insisted he had no knowledge of it. This has caused serious conflict within the family.

Now, I am stuck. I have nowhere to go, no money for rent, and not even enough to buy a bed, let alone furnish a place. I feel betrayed, abandoned, and helpless. I don’t know what to do or where to turn.

Please, my Nairaland family, I need your advice. What should I do in this situation? How do I navigate this mess? I’m really desperate and need help.

You felt ur mother cannot betray you...a lesson for all...

Ibkay32:


I entrusted her with my savings, believing it was the right thing to do. After all, I’ve seen footballers entrust their mothers with their wealth, and it never seemed like a bad idea. I thought a mother’s love would come with responsibility and care, but now, I’m starting to question if I was wrong to trust so easily.

Don't take anything you read online as gospel truth, that case was hiding your assets from gold digging wife and not your case. Your finances is what makes you a man, don't hand it over to anyone except when you a re protecting your assets from other people

Rule 1: When it comes to money, never trust anyone not even yourself

Mariangeles:


Before giving him this bad advice, did you consider that he had been living with his brother in-law (his mother and sister aside) for FOUR GOOD YEARS?
Living under his roof, and eating his food for free, and probably contributing little to nothing.
Did you consider that? Put yourself in the brother in-law's place and reason it.

Did you just say I'm contributing nothing?

This is the same family I've always ed financially whenever I'm stable. People often say that you only truly know yourself when you're broke.

Ibkay32:


My sister's husband and I almost got into a fight today, and now everyone in the family 're focusing only on the negative side of what I said.

There's no way you can come out of this mess unscathed. Now you will be blackmailed over the years you spent with them taking care of you, and you will be branded as an ingrate . In life, lay not your trust on anyone but God. You can't win this war, that's the way it is, things will never be the same again. One thing you did not realize on time is that your mom has a better relationship with your sister than you. She couldn't have given her that money if they weren't really close. You may have been a burden to them without you knowing. Mum's l know, would have questioned why her husband could not fund her desire to further her education even if she knew you kept your savings with her. If you insist on the money, you are done for unless you make a big break in life. Wish you the best.

SWATMan:


There's no way you can come out of this mess unscathed. Now you will be blackmailed over the years you spent with them taking care of you, and you will be branded as an ingrate . In life, lay not your trust on anyone but God. You can't win this war, that's the way it is, things will never be the same again. [b]One thing you did not realize on time is that your mom has a better relationship with your sister than you. [/b]She couldn't have given her that money if they weren't really close. You may have been a burden to them without you knowing. Mum's l know, would have questioned why her husband could not fund her desire to further her education even if she knew you kept your savings with her. If you insist on the money, you are done for unless you make a big break in life. Wish you the best.

Yeah, I know that for cos she's her only daughter out 4 boys
Appreciate your kind words brother