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How My Churchy Upbringing Influenced Me As An Adult (long Post) (11356 Views)
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Goodlyhrt(m): 6:08pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
My parents tried to raise us in the way that most Christian homes would go.. In the way of the Lord! And all the associated activities of going to Church all Sundays, ignoring all other associations as they are perceived as being unequally yoked with unbelievers. Adhering to all doctrines of the church no questions. I was raised in this type of environment. In short my parents were staunch of the Deeper Life Christian Ministries (DLCM) and all my formative years where under the doctrines and teachings of the church. My parents and the Church taught me to put all my hope in the Lord in all situations and never to complain much because God will make a way even at the dieing minutes. So I grew up weary of my non church going environment. I wouldn't find myself being a social animal that I am working aggressively hard on becoming nowadays. So I made church friends, and went to church gatherings, church schools right until my secondary school days. But there is a catch. I watched my family falter and we lost everything we had. My father went down with diabetes around 2008 and nobody to help. He lost his carpentry workshop and showroom.. almost lost his life to the disease. The Church, my church DLCM couldn't offer us good help because they too were individually waiting on the Lord too. So they offered us help but meager. But that was the only gathering we knew and are aquatinted with. No Umunna hip, ordinary friends gathering or in another word Friends club. Even market association, my parents never belonged to any of those. We solely waited on the Lord and around 2011, my dad's diabetes was somehow controlled. Thanks to my Uncle in the village who came to our rescue by using herbs and leaves to help my dad. But not without enough convincing and lobbying from my uncle because my parents saw the help as being fetish of some sort. In fact at that time we were not in talking with the said uncle because of his native practices. But at the end of the day he came to our rescue through the herbs he gave to my dad. What I am saying is that my parents lifestyle of being too churchy in the way the raised us has been net detrimental in my life as a grown man and to my siblings too. Talking about me. I didn't finish my education due to my dad's health and the fact that there's no one that could help me who my dad is aquainted with. My social skills is zero until recently. I didn't know how to deal with anybody outside talking about church related stuff and academic stuff I was lost. So I am on this situation all thanks to my parents way of life of being too judgemental of everything not church related. In short right now I don't how to keep a healthy relationship - you know calling to check up on someone, buying gifts, attending birthdays and all those stuffs that make knowing people interesting. I am just trying to pick these stuffs up from the street now. And it hasn't helped in any way. I think it has brought untold hardship to our lives in the sense that we suffer alone with no one to help. Not uncle's, not friends because we hardly make friends. In those days I wondered why no one visits my parents at home while all our neighbors hosted visitors almost all day especially on Sundays. Unless we are hosting Bible study session. The simple truth is that no one should exist alone in this plane Earth. We were never built to survive alone and my parents and the church were all wrong. So I stopped going to church totally. I hated my life how it has turned out and wish I could've made my own decisions earlier in life. Of a truth I started dodging church activities very early in my teen years but I met stiff rebuttal from my dad. You know the "if I don't see you in church blah blah blah no school fees for you blah blah blah". Because I started noticing something was off. They said God answered prayers but I couldn't get answers to mine. I could one time in the DLCM camp ground. I prayed earnestly to be healed of my deformity, seeing that others got theirs and I was moved and cried sore for God to heal me. Even made promises to God if he proves his faithfulness. But it seemed the blessings from pastor Kumuyi would never get to me. I was depressed and got angered. Starting from then, my prayer life took a dive. Interest in the things of the church tanked. Also my dad's ill fortune and how we suffered to eat most times during that time, made me question God and doubtful in everything. In conclusion. We are never going to survive alone as species. We all need US in our lives. I have started opening up to non church related associations lately. I even ed another church howbeit a modern church if you know what I mean. But now, I ed the church with a purpose. Not because I like going there but because I needed the connections there. In the Bible it says that we should worship God with understanding but most non-orthodox denominations don't understand a thing. My message to everyone. Go out there and be aquainted with your fellow humans. Don't listen to religion and its backwater ideologies because we can't survive alone. a political party, know some force men and become friends. Go to events with the sole aim of meeting new people. Attend seminars and be active in the society. A little appraisal of the Yoruba people. In the way some of them practice the Abrahamaic religion. They don't go overboard like the Northerners because of Islam or as strict as the Easterners, my people, in the way they practice Christianity. I stayed in Lagos for upto six years and I was initially confused in the way they practiced the Abrahamaic religions but now I understand better and I am in love with their way in that aspect. Lastly be wise in your association with people. I.e. avoid secret societies or cult groups because although they'd promise you protection but it's all a lie. I want to add this. I learnt this from a pastor. He said that the reason why Africa is suffering and is in great poverty is because we don't have more partnership businesses. People have really nice business ideas but no one to sponsor them because African people are not inclined to form partnership so they don't know how to handle it. In Europe or "the West", many people live off their investment in numerous business partnerships. No matter how little the business they invest in it and get it working good and then get ROI. Even when they are not actively employed or run their own personal business. But they are getting ROI from the investment in other people's businesses. I think this is true though. Sorry for the long read. ![]() 84 Likes 10 Shares |
otipoju(m): 8:24pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
I understand what you are saying....nevertheless I will tell you the only ground worth standing on is God. All other grounds is sinking sand. Nigeria is not working because we have endemic corruption from top to bottom. Europe and America works for business because of access to credit. As long as your credit score is good, you will have banks and other financial institutions to lend you money. If your worship of God is based solely on what you can get from him then you have not started. Paul was not healed of his deformity, yet he loved God. Moses, David, Joseph ,Stephen even Jesus Christ all faced debilitating trials, yet they did not abandon God. The key to being relevant in this world is to add value to yourself continually. Make money , save for rainy days and plan for your children's future and enjoy yourself with your family. But placing your trust in fellow human beings will bring you more misery long term wether in church or socially. I have friends everywhere but still keep my circle very very very small. 38 Likes 3 Shares |
Goodlyhrt(m): 9:03pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
otipoju:Whether you like it or not. God is man and Man is the God you wish is in the skies. All your prayers and aspirations are and will be facilitated by man and not any spirit. Learning how to influence man has been the ultimate power. Thats why you have leaders of men everywhere and with almost the same objective to influence men. Even the God in your head is still fighting influence on MAN. Don't be deceived. Lately I make lots and lots of friends and I hope you should too. Cheers!! 20 Likes 1 Share |
Zaheertyler(m): 9:24pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
Can a man be spiritual and still live in todays world Socializing and understanding the importance of community as opposed to individuality? Yes Seek ye first the kingdom of God so that you can be a reflection of his glory and seeking God means to do in spirit and truth not in any secluded place that humans call sacred because we are all his creations What I’m saying is that having a Christlike reflection is the foundation of every persons life and it doesn’t stop him or her from socializing Where salt go perform? No be for inside food? On its own it’s just salt What I’m saying is that Attending church for any reason or socializing for any reason is good but what is most important is that having a Christlike foundation or morals and principles so that you will always be the light to others even in the new church you go I hope you understand Me that is talking self lol 5 Likes |
richmond500: 9:25pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
God does not exist, if u put ur hope on him, u won't be better than the average man on the street. Next Sunday go to church and look at the person near u if he is any better than the non church goers 36 Likes 4 Shares |
otipoju(m): 11:03pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: "God is man " . "Man is God " ." God is in your head" This one carry "ment" for head. You will be alright las las. 5 Likes |
Goodlyhrt(m): 11:08pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
otipoju:Man is the God that you think is in the skies. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Sp1ritHusband(m): 11:14pm On Dec 19, 2024 |
I was raised in the same church and I must tell you, it is the biggest regret in my life today. I wasted my youth in the church which I am never getting back. We always believe our parents to know a lot about life but in fact, some of them know very little. I will never raise any child with religion or church as it will be the biggest disservice to that child. I never step into a church anymore as it is stupid listening to the same thing all your life with very little results. It is nothing but mindless religion for the purpose of control by one man, Kumuyi. Monday Bible Study, Thursday Revival hours, Sunday search the scriptures, Sunday house fellowship, Saturday workers meetings, December retreats, easter retreats, crusades, and the list goes on. My siblings are leaders in the church so I know a lot. It is the most useless and wasteful life anyone can live and look at the owners of the churches like Kumyi, he has become extremely wealthy over time with his kids traveling the world and him, living like a king on earth. Even while in the church, I realized a lot of Biblical errors committed by Kumuyi himself like sanctification after salvation, not fully saved until restitution, the marriage committee process which has nothing to do with the Bible, Television being a devils box and so on. I am as learned and educated like any GO/GS in Nigeria or anywhere in the world today and will not give over control of my life to these guys. I will rather open a church and become a GS myself so I can create my own church doctrines. 20 Likes 3 Shares |
otipoju(m): 12:16am On Dec 20, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: The man that was born by a woman as a result if sexual intercourse between a man and another woman is the one who is in the skies. Who told you that God lives in the skies. I've flown thousand of miles across four continents many of those flights were above the clouds...I'm was never expecting to run across God in the skies. Especially when I know that earth is just one tiny fraction of the multi universes. I think your idea of God is shallow and ypu were closed .inded from the beginning that is why you found it hard to make friends in the beginning. The bible encourages us to relate with others and while sticking to principles and tenets that glorify his name. Well sha you be deeper life you grow up. So I no blame you. Even the streets k ow well not to put all your trust in friends...you don't need bible to tell you that one. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Sp1ritHusband(m): 12:31am On Dec 20, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: It is man-made 100% for the sole purpose of control and it has worked well in Africa. Men like you and me wrote the Bible and Quoran for control as well. All the GO/GO/Imams and alfas are men like you and me, no big deal and nothing special about them, If you must go to churches, attend solely to improve your social life and nothing more. Abrahamic religion is a form of mental bondage and colonization in a form I have never seen before and everything you know today is as a result of the repetitive indoctrination that you have absorbed from your environment, from childhood till now, and nothing more. Your family, the church or mosque, school, people around you . Why do you think DLCM has multiple programs during the week? It is for the sole purpose of repetitive generational indoctrination. As a fact, most of the GO/Gs/s are having so much fun on earth here that they do not want to go to "heaven". The indoctrination is the same in the old soviet union and the Islamic religion. 8 Likes 2 Shares |
papyjaypaul: 4:29am On Dec 20, 2024 |
I am more interested in what your uncle gave your dad that they saw as 'native' because that right there is medicine but the white man made us hate what our forefathers did with nature. What would have been their solution? The doctor or prayers or miracle? Most of what we suffer from is fear and I won't blame them, it's that fear that made them who they were andi it's common for fundamentalists of all faith. They are afraid to mix with those who will contaminate their souls they think.
7 Likes 1 Share |
Goodlyhrt(m): 6:52am On Dec 20, 2024 |
otipoju:I was trying to dymisty the concept of God. Maybe you find it hard to understand me. I said that God is nothing more than your fellow human being that you see everyday and not some sky daddy. Because its self same human being that will show you love and do you good. Nobody from the sky is coming down here to help anyone. It is still your fellow human that will help you if at all you are going to be helped. In general God and Satan are still human beings like you and me, depends on who you meet. Understand now? 6 Likes 1 Share |
otipoju(m): 8:19am On Dec 20, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: You don't know what you are saying. From time immemorial God is not a man. Saying men are God and God is man I'd foolishness and all your time in church wad a waste. If you read the Bible well, God raises men to do his bidding. You are rejecting God because you asked for healing and you were not healed. Guess what, same thing happened to Paul...yet he did not reject God. Job lost everything but did not renounce God. I myself gave lost a good lot and have family whose medical condition are irreversible in spite of all the money I have to spend on it...yet I will not deny God and say he is a mere man. Being a Christian dies not mean you should be socially awkward or inept. That is on you and coming out of your shell now has nothing to do with God. Im fact your insecurities are still there and even if you are in the midst of a hundred friends you will still be alone until you learn to love yourself. The bible is filled with examples of God stirring the heart of men to do hood towards others. Mordecai and the King who had sleepless nights, Ananais who was told yo go heal Paul's eyes, the official in Pharaohs court who ed Joseph. So what are you on about? What are you saying that you ate not even thinking at all but just throwing clichés that are from dumb minds. I leave you to you. I got better things to do. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Goodlyhrt(m): 8:28am On Dec 20, 2024 |
otipoju:This is my last reply to you dear sir. I don't believe in your biblical God anymore as believing in that fable has caused Africa a great deal, backwardness and poverty to mention a few. I now believe through evidence that there is no God in the sky or anywhere who can influence man but man himself who can influence himself to do good or not. Humanity/man is the God we think in our head and has all the power to influence and not some spiritual all father. 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Vawulence120: 10:41am On Dec 20, 2024 |
Op I think we have same idealogy, I am also brought up in a strong christian home( deeper life bible church in Owerri) that even discouraged me to follow my friends in Yahoo. Many things you said here is true I have stop attending the church for a year, I have stop following and worshipping what top pastors, general overseas said and follow what the bible says I stop following any church doctrine and follow what bible says 'Attend seminars and be active in the society.' ' a political party' This is my plan next year 'The Church, my church DLCM couldn't offer us good help because they too were individually waiting on the Lord too. So they offered us help but meager.' .... True This is exactly what happened to my father last year and my brother this year No Umunna hip, ordinary friends gathering or in another word Friends club. Even market association, my parents never belonged to any of those. True likewise my parents. avoid secret societies or cult groups. That true I like this advice secret group is not good no matter what. Can we connect I am from Owerri imo state 6 Likes 2 Shares |
otipoju(m): 12:41pm On Dec 20, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: Yes ooo, it is God that caused backwardness for Africa... it is not your government officials and civil servants stealing funds meant for development of infrastructure and social amenities. It is not your citizens that are tribalistic and selfish and don't mind stealing from their bosses at work and destroying everything else as long as they and their family are good. I been think sey you get sense before but your words have revealed that nothing dey inside your head. 8 Likes 1 Share |
Goodlyhrt(m): 1:57pm On Dec 20, 2024 |
Vawulence120:Yes..I am in ABA though 1 Like 1 Share |
prophetfire: 2:54pm On Dec 20, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt:I understand your plight about your ignorantly religious parents. However you are wrong to say that that's how Eastern people practice Christianity. You are using your parents to define Easterners. Easterners are sociable to the core and are more of Catholics, Anglicans and Methodist and Presbyterians and this makes them more open minded about religion and social life. that DCLM your parents attend is a Southwest church. The problem is that your parents are among the few Easterners that Yoruba-based Pentecostal churches brainwashed with ignorance and you became a victim. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Vawulence120: 9:24am On Dec 21, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt:drop your or email address |
Goodlyhrt(m): 9:43am On Dec 21, 2024 |
Vawulence120:WhatsApp 090 1975 8019 |
MaxInDHouse(m): 9:49am On Dec 21, 2024 |
Did God ever promised anyone they will have what the world has to offer? ![]() 1 Like |
Image123(m): 10:00am On Dec 21, 2024 |
Sorry to hear about the OP's plight; it's not uncommon in the different denominations and countries all over the world. This is why everyone is taught and encouraged to know God for himself. Those that Do know their God will be strong and do exploits. The churches have much more to do, but truth be told, the bulk of the fault lies at the step, door and front of the . The Bible is written and available in different versions and suitable language that makes you without excuse. You are not illiterate. The little (actually much) that i know about your church is that you are encouraged to read and study the Bible. If you read and studied the Bible, you will not be in chains for this long and then enter into another round of chains. It is also wrong to say that you are not allowed to ask questions in the church, the little (actually much) that i know about your church services allows for question and answers every or almost every Sunday. Also, you can also meet up with your pastors or youth pastors to ask questions. i relate with and have related with your church , even here on nairaland i have a good friend Ola. i wonder how and where you were not allowed to relate. Like someone mentioned, even the church pastors children are relating with outsiders. Their programmes show that they are relating with others outside the denomination, though i know them to be quite conservative. Lastly, God does not need to do your bidding or mine to be God. i wish you well in your new quest, though i wish that you will rather know God instead of blame God and your church for your family's plight. Takeresponsibility and stop listening to riff raffs. 30 Likes 1 Share |
LordReed(m): 12:28pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt: I love this. We've had more than a century of photographic and motion picture technology, yet we have never captured an angel or demon via photograph or video. Millions of hours of church services yet no sign of angel or demon. I firmly agree that our endeavours succeed with the help of our fellows and no spirits are involved. Cheers to you too. 1 Like 2 Shares |
Image123(m): 5:07pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
LordReed: Lol, the fellow you are agreeing with is vulnerable because he likely has no job and things have been hard on his family. This happens every other market day since Adam. It's not a validation of anything. Humans do this in hard times ask the people that claimed to see the Red Sea part and went through. 5 Likes 1 Share |
LordReed(m): 6:00pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Image123: Whether or not he is suffering hard times is irrelevant to the facts. The only ones turning up for us are humans and no angel or demon is video or photograph. 3 Likes |
Kobojunkie: 6:26pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Goodlyhrt:This is just a side of the damage that religion/politics has and continues to wreak on the lives of Nigerians across the board. There is no separating them from cults! 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 3 Likes 1 Share |
Image123(m): 7:05pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
LordReed: Angels and devils are spirits, they didn't promise video evidence. 2 Likes 2 Shares |
Image123(m): 7:08pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Kobojunkie: The richest and most successful in Nigeria practice either religion or politics or both. You can mention any 10 powerful ones and i don't need to tell you their religious practices. Evidently, the religion/politics is not the problem, it's something else. 4 Likes |
Kobojunkie: 7:18pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
prophetfire:He is not lying! The same behavior is exhibited here in the United States by of Nigerian churches. The vast majority of them are unable to properly integrate into the larger society due to social impairment. That is why their lives revolve around their churches and church programs. ![]() Religion gets its power from reducing the social connections of its to turn them into captives— prisoners/slaves to the doctrines/traditions of the religion. And all ethnicities are impacted the same. ![]() 4 Likes |
prophetfire: 7:31pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Kobojunkie:Unfortunately you are replying out of context and contradicting yourself. The issue is his statement that it's Easterners that do like that. I told him that it's more of westerners approach to Christianity as the church in question is a western church and that Easterners aren't into it as much as westerners. You now said that he's right, meaning that his assertion about Easterners as opposed to westerners is right. And then you turned around again to say that it's all ethnicities that are prone to that, which is contrary to his assertion that it's only Easterners. Where do you stand? ing what he said and at the same time saying it's all ethnicities that are into it is contradicting yourself. 2 Likes |
sonmvayina(m): 7:34pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
Image123: How come they don't attack wealthy people? Religion is our greatest undoing.. The day we give Jesus and Allah back to the people that brought it to us...that day will be the begining of our salvation.. Let us first be marking time... 1 Like 1 Share |
sonmvayina(m): 7:35pm On Dec 21, 2024 |
The truth is that most pastors don't even believe in the bull crap they tell their .. They are only interested in their offering bowl and tithe.. 4 Likes |
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