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Getting Married And Living In Your Parents House. What Is Wrong About It - Family (4) - Nairaland 631m7

Getting Married And Living In Your Parents House. What Is Wrong About It (22598 Views)

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1Sharon(f): 11:30pm On Jan 25, 2024
Nazgul:
Your mom and your female siblings wouldn't respect your wife. She won't feel comfortable in that house

Only a desperate woman would marry a man living in his parents house.

No woman should agree to that scam.
LEARNPYTHON(m): 11:30pm On Jan 25, 2024
JessicaRabbit:
Let me unravel this societal yarn for you. If your parents have a sprawling palace, and you've got a flourishing career nearby, who says you need to flee the nest like a startled pigeon?

Living with your parents doesn't equate to failure; it's a choice, a practical one at that. If the cohabitation vibes are harmonious, and everyone's doing the cha-cha of happiness, why disrupt the rhythm?

Marriage isn't a swift exit strategy from the parental abode; it's a union built on love 💑, respect, and occasionally stealing the TV remote. So, to those wielding judgment like a bludgeon, I say, let people nest where the heart is content, not where society dictates. After all, a house 🏡 is not a home if it's not filled with love, whether it's your own or your parents' overflowing embrace.
This is a sensible submission and beautifully written too 👍
However, what if your parents' abode is not a sprawling palace nor do you have any sort of business nearby; basically, your decision to stay with them after marriage is based on financial reasons. But your parents don't mind— at least they show no sign to suggest otherwise. Would it still be fine to stay with them ?
Also, is your submission based on experience or just what you feel/understand is appropriate to do under the circumstances ?
Icebreeze(m): 11:32pm On Jan 25, 2024
It's toxic..
It might be with you, but what about your wife?
Gentlesoul2021(m): 11:32pm On Jan 25, 2024
koolib:
It was one of the greatest mistakes I ever made

Can u share...
Gentlesoul2021(m): 11:32pm On Jan 25, 2024
harry2sexy:
So if someone's wife moans loudly, that's how the whole house will be shaking. How do you expect them to look at you the next morning during daily devotion?

grin grin grin grin
1Sharon(f): 11:43pm On Jan 25, 2024
EconomistXplain:


but india big families of genereational extensions live together....no wahala

Who told you this?? You sabi Indians at all?
Demurray: 11:57pm On Jan 25, 2024
Wives that are too proud and disrespectful, who refused to bow for inlaws most especially mother in law would find the house hot for her to stay because the mother in law would not tolerate nonsense. Thereby tagging her mother in law witch and other abusive names. Their kinds are so many on this platform, they would never living in their father in law house even for a day.

There's nothing wrong with it. It will only benefit them especially when both are working as a salary earner and the right person to look after their kids is the mother in law .

1 Like

ufotunang: 12:02am On Jan 26, 2024
It's wrong...at a certain time your parents will start not to respect you and your wife....your brother and sister will not respect you and your wife they will look down on you
dreamwords: 12:02am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.
there is nothing wrong with it as long as your own parent are still living in there parent house,
as long as your wife to be is also comfortable with it
kwasoly(m): 12:05am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.



A man cannot cleave without leaving, it is in the leaving you can cleave to your wife.
The scripture cannot be broken.
Acidosis(m): 12:09am On Jan 26, 2024
None at all. Seyi Tinubu (probably) lives in one of his father's properties in Lagos/Abuja/London.



Poverty makes everything appear ugly and stup!d.
rickleye: 12:11am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.


Dude nothing is wrong . As long as you are staying in a BQ while you are saving to get your own house and move out . Don’t be intimidated by others timeline.

1 Like

jmoore(m): 12:16am On Jan 26, 2024
kwasoly:




A man cannot cleave without leaving, it is in the leaving you can cleave to your wife.
The scripture cannot be broken.
Una just dey quote bible with misinterpretation.
Judolisco(m): 12:17am On Jan 26, 2024
Nice2023:
No woman should ever stay in such a home.

It wouldn't be long before ur mother in law will tag u a witch,there must always be friction between them.

But in all,I don't wish any woman such a trap as home.
it's a norm in India.... It's jst a cultural thing here to leave your family and start another family.... But in India it's like a shame when u ain't staying with your parents

1 Like

intruder15(m): 12:28am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.


Most of these laws are applicable for the poor. The rich no de check these things.

What matters to me is the intention to staying back. There should be a plan. There are people that got married, had mutual understanding between husband and wife, raised more funds due to less expenses on rent and built their house. Then moved out into their own house. Is that not sweet?

Na mumu de seek validation for people mouth.

4 Likes

Bigchristo: 12:40am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.
Stop asking nonsense questions; it’s never good to get married and still be living in your parents house as a man even if it’s one bed room apartment get it ready before you marry leave your parents house and start your own family, however a married person needed privacy with his wife don’t come and allow your family to intrude into your private affairs with your wife that’s not a good thing to do
Myer(m): 1:05am On Jan 26, 2024
jmoore:
If nobody is pursing you and your parents house is close to were you work, please remain in your father's house.

I saw many people lamenting about house rent in one thread like that.

Ignore people's opinion. They are not the one feeding you.

I will only leave my father's house when I have enough money to build a better house.
It balls down to the person you're getting married to. If she's fine with it, you will enjoy it. But if she isn't fine with it,, any slight issue will be attributed to staying in your parents house.
explored(m): 1:28am On Jan 26, 2024
suprising! hmmmm
BitterTruth0001: 2:04am On Jan 26, 2024
Nice2023:



U brought a topic and u still don't want us to air our opinion.

U are too immature. Is like u are being spoon feed at home and that's why u want to live till u are 60years in ur fathers house.

Be deceiving yourself.

U want to enslave another man's daughter,lazy man.


This is a very uncouth manner of speaking’.

Do you not have any social etiquettes ?
ericmor: 2:04am On Jan 26, 2024
jmoore:
If nobody is pursing you and your parents house is close to were you work, please remain in your father's house.

I saw many people lamenting about house rent in one thread like that.

Ignore people's opinion. They are not the one feeding you.

I will only leave my father's house when I have enough money to build a better house.

Letting people decide your future has killed so many people future in Nigeria. You need to be wise. My guy got married and moved out of his father's house, after 3yrs of paying house rent and paying children school fees, my guy got tired of the expenses as things were increasing every year, my guy quickly moved back to one of the apartment in his father's house and now guy is happy again because he now have savings and his own house is work in progress now. You just need to take advantage of what you have to elevate yourself in Nigeria and don't do follow follow
hakeemhakeem(m): 2:17am On Jan 26, 2024
Nothing is wrong with it after all this was a normal practice in ages, whereby people lived in the same compound at the village

1 Like

hakeemhakeem(m): 2:19am On Jan 26, 2024
Candid:
Nobody's asking a real question.

How exactly you wan knack and moan loudly when everyone is around?

Those who did it, how una take handle am?

Don't you knack where you live with your neighbors
placeofallure(f): 2:37am On Jan 26, 2024
NikoDeBonAmi:
These days we see a lot of people saying at a certain age they are suppose to move out of their parents house. We even see were people attack others for still staying with their parents and thinking of marriage.

If your parents have a big and comfortable home were you stay and then you have a good job or flowing business in that same city or town, what is wrong to remain in your parents home and get married there especially when they are very happy for you to always be around them with your own family.

You included a clause in your query...if it's a big estate and your apartments are metres apart like the Okoya's Oluwa ni Sola estate for instance, no problems; I fit dey one week, we no go see. But to live with my husband's family, right under each other's noses, sharing the same space...I Cannot Can!
No matter the amount of tolerance and understanding you have or they have, Ẹ ma ni problem o. There will be rifts, there will be rancour, husband go settle matters taya, later he will take sides, then there will be gang up, family war don land be that!
I don't have the energy biko. Too many important things to do than to live every minute of your life being careful not to annoy the other person. You should be allowed to be vulnerable in your own space!
Sibetolo: 2:43am On Jan 26, 2024
This answers it . It depends on the relationship between the Husby his parents and how much of a WOMAN the wife is among other factors that determines the rightness or wrongness. We wer
Socratiz:
I would approach the issue if staying with your parents when you're married on a case-to-case basis. It depends on the nature of your relationship with your parents.

Those who have a toxic relationship with their parents will never do that. You have heard of children who avoid even a normal conversation with their parents. You cannot advise such a child to live with their parents with their spouses.

But if you have a loving, convivial and stable relationship with your parents, you won't mind living with them with your spouse.

However, you need to set healthy boundaries between your family and your parents.

If each party is aware of their boundaries and such boundaries are respected, there should be no issue between you.

In conclusion, I submit that it's the nature of your relationship with your parents that determine whether you'd live with them with your spouse or not.
elijahozzy(m): 2:50am On Jan 26, 2024
securitywatch50:
Hmmm, that means you're not man enough.

Hustle and get your own for your peace of mind.


You see the man enough has put many man to the grave, there is no crime not to be man enough, may why man Dey man, no let any one pressure you

1 Like

cattylove7(f): 2:51am On Jan 26, 2024
If your parents have a boy squatter or a guest house/challet a couple can stay behind the main house, yes, you can take that risk But living. in your parent's house while you are married. Hell no That is the beginning of disrespects, etc. - blog www.cattylove.com
PlanetZero: 3:06am On Jan 26, 2024
If you like live in your gra d mothers house. It is your choice. But if your spouse doesn't it. No way u can force him or her
Lexusgs430: 3:11am On Jan 26, 2024
It's wrong on all levels....... You might not mind, but what does your wife truly feel about the arrangement.......
Sammy249: 3:12am On Jan 26, 2024
If your parents have a massive house then that's just a wise thing or if you see paying for what's currently available when searching for a accommodation doesn't just make sense , infact its the richest of the richest that do this the most , the Adenugas and the Okoyas children still reside in thier parents palatial home, it's poor men children that thier father never achieved nothing palatial I'm life that be quick to go pay another man 70% of his or her salary every year total on house rent payment, if y'all fathers were successfully you don't need to move out , because rich people are far smarter why paying for another man's kids future and when they retire they have no property to show for all thier years of hard work and paying rent majority with the salaries , don't rush to move out be wise even till 40years , moving out early only leads to more promiscuity and spending of money lavishly and later regretting in life
athaliya(f): 3:30am On Jan 26, 2024
I love such and I pray for such. As long as it's a peaceful home.

Free and trusted nanny for my kids, free police for my hubby grin grin grin

There might be initial friction but with time, everyone will grow closer.

1 Like

pasuma(m): 3:43am On Jan 26, 2024
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it but the problem is mostly with the ladies, they may frustrate your existence just to move out of the house. Indians do it , more of a norms with them, you find 3 generations living in the same compound. I stayed 7 years after marriage in my father's house until I completed my 4 flats in isolo before moving out. Maybe I was just lucky with my wife but some ladies wouldn't even stay 1 week sha



jmoore:
If nobody is pursing you and your parents house is close to were you work, please remain in your father's house.

I saw many people lamenting about house rent in one thread like that.

Ignore people's opinion. They are not the one feeding you.

I will only leave my father's house when I have enough money to build a better house.

2 Likes

Emman08: 3:54am On Jan 26, 2024
What is wrong? EVERYTHING

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