NewStats: 3,259,174 , 8,169,296 topics. Date: Saturday, 24 May 2025 at 06:25 AM 5n505p

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

You just gave a perfect description of who I used to be years ago and your story about school life reminds me of mine too. I simply left the hostel for off camp- I never gave them a reason I left. I know I'm not still a bad person but I know deep within me that I'm not that nice guy I used to be anymore either. People only judge me now based on who I used to be, they'll only see the changes when they choose to take me for a ride. I got tired! About getting a girlfriend? They don't like nice guys - most of them.

Its simple, STOP BEING NICE.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Yourself first...stop being nice to idiots.

Quit trying to fight it, that is your destiny, that is who you are created to be. I have a brother like you, even if he is just ing a stranger walks up to him that he or she hasn't eaten he will get them money, even school fees. He is paying school fees of many people , strangers and family , people started taking advantage of him, some will go ahead to give out his phone number to other people. Even when I get angry at him at times, I try to caution him about it, he never listens. Infact, sometimes he will promise not to give money but he will secretly go behind my back to give. I later gave up on him.

God has been blessing him though. This is why I said it is your destiny, you can't fight it.

michlins:
how do you suggest he does that.

I also need same advise. But here's the thing, I have been a product of grace and unmerited help and favor from people. That's why when people return my good with evil, I just cancel it out and still extend my help to others

Can you help me?

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

You haven't suffered enough.


There's suffering that makes a monster.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

1:-Stop discussing your personal life with every second person. Tell them what's necessary, privacy is everything.

2:-Stop wasting your time on PUBG . It doesn't Feed you.

3:-Stop trying to please everyone. Give importance to yourself.

4:-Stay away from negative people . Make yourself as your best friend.

5:—Stop worrying about what people say. Tomorrow morning if you disappear, world will go on perfectly fine without you.

6:—Spend time with family more rather than social media.

7:-Make your own rules and boundaries. Don't let anyone to break them .

8:—Always keep smile . And don't waste your time on those people who don't cares about you.

9:—Polish your skills and don’t let society to take advantage of them. Do whatever which helps you to polish your skill.

10:—The only way to improve tomorrow is to know what you did wrong today.

11:-Learn something new every day which helps you to improve your skills.

FatherCHRISTMAS:
I read everything and must say I was once like you... I was once so kindhearted I'd do anything to please others.

But what later hardened me ? I honestly don't know....Probably the realization that people place more value on individuals who cause then pain than those who gives them joy.

That's the way it is.

I am not like the OP yet I find these words needful for me and will use them to improve on myself.

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

Travicon:


Hello Nairalanders, I'm that foolish.

I have nothing to say....... you took the words out of my mouth.

You don’t need a herbalist to tell you to love yourself first before your neighbor. One month is enough for you to read someone and know the kind of person he’s. So now that you know, you still need advice? No now, just separate from doing things together ASAP. Also start saving little and be thinking how to invest back in Nigeria if you don’t have plans to stay back. Especially property and real estate investment. Dm me if interested

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

glosplendid:
Well I can relate very well with what you are saying....and as I'm typing this I am on the path of self discovery... First of all I got to know that it's important to know your zodiac sign so as to know your weakness and strength... I'm a Pisces and we are too sensitive that it tends to affect us...you can't change who you are but you can control it by knowing your weakness after then you start applying the rule of expecting nothing when you give cos expectation kills(just because you are too nice and other's aint meeting up to your expectation of your own version of nice doesn't make them less nice)..make sure you borrow out what you know that even if it doesn't come back to you,you can be able to forfeit it to avoid you blaming and regretting........I advise you to know your strength and weakness so as to know how to balance them in dealing with peoplele.

While it's good to be nice, Pieces are generally not smart in their thinking. They are too free and people take them for a ride all the time. It's only a developed Scorpio partner that can show you the way to your true self.

@op, I was once like you and somehow, I am still like you but I have learned to set boundaries. Treat people as they treat you and watch them change.

Meanwhile, you'll learn some things at your own pace and there's nothing anyone's advice can do until you learn these things.

If being nice is hurting you, then you've got to stop hurting yourself first.....you need to channel the energy accumulated on your getting hurt lessons to restructure and modify yourself into a principled man.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

You are an empath and a lightworker.You have been sent to this world to heal.You have a much more greater mission.This we be revealed to you withtime.Get more closer to God so you can know what your purpose is with him.

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Some people were created to be good. I don't think you should change to being mean.

However, you need to adjust how you relate to people and yourself.
First, invest in yourself with the little you have. Do what will give you extra money. You'll definitely need that.

Second, create an event that'll determine your relationship with those your roommates and others especially so called friends. Start by telling them to contribute towards feeding and other expenses. Make the request plain! Should they refuse, that means everyone should answer his surname. Find a way to move out and stay on your own.
As for your friends, try to request money from them, this act will separate you from most of them.

Finally be yourself and don't give yourself to people. I don't mean you shouldn't interact. Only offer what you can lose.

I'm in your shoes but God is helping me skip those people who'll love to drain you but safeguard their resources.
I don't refrain from lending out small sums if I have because if you refuse to pay back, that's it. You'll naturally cut yourself out of me to my advantage.

U are too nice
Before I can advise now can u please borrow me 50k And I promise u by d end of July I will pay you back plz ��� just to know how ur nice is nicer ����

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

https://medium.com/@lianecarmi/why-people-take-advantage-of-you-dfb02384e74a READ BRO

Dear Travicon,

I genuinely understand you plight and for someone who have been in your very shoes, I'm ionate about helping folks navigate the process of be nice and wise. I would be glad to share some e-books specifically on the "Nice guy" syndrome and loads of personal experiences as well.

Write me @ [email protected]. Blessings!

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

You will still learn the hard way. Experience is the best teacher

Recite this poem after me...

"Where ever you go......
Where ever you be......
Do not say yes when you mean to say No"

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

These days, I rarely comment but I saw your cry for help and I hope you get to read this:

Understand that you are not too nice! However, you have a deep rooted need to be loved or appreciated or wanted or needed.
Unfortunately, this makes you overcompensate with your generosity despite your very limited resources.
This can put you in a very uncomfortable and even dangerous situation; you are seen as an easy outlet for everyone and their problems.

The question you need to answer truthfully to yourself:

1- Who is there for me when I need them?
2- Who can I confide in during my times of need?
3- Who is a recurring drain on my limited resources?

Keep #1 and #2 close and pour the love they put into you, back into them as well.
#3 are people you need to either keep at arms length or cut off entirely.

Also, that the problems of the world will never finish and be you alive or dead, people will always have their problems.


Finally, for your room mates, you need to have a meeting on how they can contribute to the upkeep of the resources.
Since you already cook, how about you volunteer to cook three times a week but they provide the resources.
That way, you save the money and when they do not provide the resources, you can eat out.
Should they refuse your proposal or offer an unacceptable arrangement, then put your foot down and protect your resources.

Artiiclebeast:


This isn't niceness or kindness my dear. You ignorantly put your life in grave danger and could have ended up worse off.

What we tend to term as niceness, kindness or humility just for the feel-good factor is nothing but naivety and the yearning for validation.

Abeg make una dey careful oh..

comment like this is why I don't like sharing this but I know how everything played that very day...

This kinda comment is the reason I don't like sharing this but I know how things played that very day...this is 2022 and have wised up...

Artiiclebeast:


This isn't niceness or kindness my dear. You ignorantly put your life in grave danger and could have ended up worse off.

What we tend to term as niceness, kindness or humility just for the feel-good factor is nothing but naivety and the yearning for validation.

Abeg make una dey careful oh..

You the definition of STUPID according to Uncle Steve Harvey.

No offence intended rise up to the occasion and stop been stupid

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

HellVictorinho4:



Can you help me?

with what

michlins:
no matter what we tell him,he will remain himself.

He's only going to unleash the beast in him at his own time or probably not.

He's not stupid for being good btw. The people who pay him back with evil are the stupid people

Exactly, there is nothing anyone can tell him to make him change, because that is who he is by nature.

He is still very young, life itself will taught him how to modify his dealing with this cruel world eventually.

DoctorOlasDesk:
You need to learn more about character development, self development and better management principles. Google these the exact way i typed them, read on books that helps to build character and dose on them.

You're 21, this is the ripe age to invest heavily in your personal development and everything related to it. The time to begin to build your future is now. Do not sacrifice your future and resources on the altar of " we're in it together "

You sound and seem pretty much responsible and like one on a progressive path. Hence, you need to tag with people who roll on your frequency. This means, you should be riding solo whilst meaning such acquaintances you call friends as distant friends, not ones to pull close. Stop confusing people life brings you in association with as friends.

So why you have the warrior mindset and perspective of trying to get things together, resolve chaos and bring orderliness to things, you need to take advantage of your strengths, in this case, the ability to go solo, to leave the room, leave whatever cordialities binds you with these guys, get yourself your private space, and invest in your life, future and education better.

Find books by " Sigmound " and read up on where he spoke about the more people become conscious of their habits and attitudes, he more in control they become in charge of their lives ! Read, read, read. There's alot of materials to read up to defeat this weakness


The earlier you separate yourself from people who act and behave they have nothing to look forward to, the faster you are to your destination and goals.



Good Luck !

are you related to pansophist? this looks like exactly what he would write.

I was once like you OP but i no get any advice for you nah your type dey turn beast overnight. I been nice for day one but can't forget the year 2020 in my life. That's my hardest moment in life. Drop out from Mapoly, No mobile phone, Got nothing more than 1 tro and a knicker with 2 shirts. Even family wey i look unto get my ass ripped off. But now blood wey dey my eyes bandits own unless if i wan just give you the money be you anybody. That's what makes me keeps off from friends, I only had a guy who is a mechanic that i roll with and it's based on when will go out will both spend together and he even spent more than i self, If to say abroad i dey i 4 say broke people always make me nervous but 4 naija you feel be hardworking like a beast and still broke....@ Op just distance yourself from broke peoples and let them know that you're schooling here that you have nothing to offer for now.........Cheers

Travicon:
Hello Nairalanders,
I will try as much as possible to make the write-up short.

I am a 21years old guy at a Russian university with two Nigerian roommates (In the hostel though). We averagely get the same amount of money as an allowance monthly, but mine always finishes first.

I don't spend unnecessarily on myself, and we cook together. I discovered after two months of staying together that they care less about buying things that we generally use in the room. For instance, I always buy food season, detergents, and cooking oil (quite expensive).

I cook most of the time. Anytime I decide not to cook, we always go hungry and I can't cope with that. This has made my cash always run out faster and I can't stop them from eating my food or using the things I buy.

There was a time also I lend the last money with me (100k in naira) to my best friend then in Nigeria because he claimed his dad was sick and promised to repay by month-end. I didn't have anything to take me through the remaining days of the month but I gave it out because he was a close friend. Month-end, I couldn't get money from my sponsor because of some issues. I ed my guy but he stopped replying to me on WhatsApp. I managed to get 20k but the rest is probably history now.

Whenever people talk about their problems, I always feel for them to the extent of giving out my money even if it's the last cash on me. I have never had a girlfriend, but I don't always have the strength to reject if a girl asks for airtime or money from me (including my mum and sisters though)

I always try to go to any length to see people happy even if it means borrowing money from another person for them. I'm that foolish. Generally, I'm too soft-hearted and nice but I don't know how to solve this problem. Someone advised me I should get a girlfriend who should always be angry with me if I'm being too nice to people and that will help me solve the problem to some extent but I think it won't.

I'm not from a rich family, not even from an average family. I'm even from a polygamous home so I know what it means to have suffered as a Nigerian. I was on the street and I guess that's what is making me this weak emotionally. I'm a simp all-around in my life and relationship with people. People are always cheating on me, taking advantage of who I am.

I NEED genuine HELP, please.

Go and read a book " The mafia manager" by Machiavelli.It help me as well but be careful after reading the book so that you don't over do things I mean in the aspect of being desciplined