NewStats: 3,261,666 , 8,174,697 topics. Date: Friday, 30 May 2025 at 03:06 AM 3x40x

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

this is not a thing of lawyer... You must marry her corpse.. That is the standard practice


Sorry for your loss... Get ready and do this for the sake of your sanity, and your son

ossibility:
Which tribe is that?

You ought to know na. Which tribe would hold fast to such primitive and senseless culture?

The cannibals, you say?

Well, you're dammed right, I say.

oluwaseyi0:
k

What makes a child belong to a man or a woman? So you mean Davido baby Mama's children are bastard they didn't belong to davido

Google the meaning of bastard.

In Igboland, if you didn't marry the girl, the children don't belong to you.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Your just been rude and arrogant, I guess your still a teenager.
No More response to you

if u don't put yourself into deep shit, one small boy here won't b insulting u.

Guy u never start ooo cos d offline insults are still waiting for u

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I informed them for the burial arrangements not for marriage ceremony

Where are you going to bury her? Your home or their own home?

They will let you be.... Reason with them, they will tell you to pay the bride price and you will now go ahead to do the buried.

Sorry about your loss....

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

callmetoniaa:
My advice is carrying the child and jakpa.. change location and start a new life.. although tradition is tradition, u can't buycot it.. if out all u buycot it, the consequence awaits u in the near future.. u see me so eeh, wetin I fear na karma..

You should be more concerned if he will be hail and hearty to train the child he jakpaed with.... you no dey fear juju?

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

You lost her last night Na you get strength for keypad , you won't find help here. Rather than looking for general opinion ,reach out to your religious leader or family elders, then her family to see how best you can solve the issues.

Dude just pay dowry and be done. Don't get involved in any stinking rituals

Alexgeneration:


If dem born you and any of your family well and you truly no dey fear anyone as you said on this thread, MAKE UNA CARRY THAT DEAD BODY ENTER THE GIRL VILLAGE.


No be to make noise online, just make you and your fearless family waka enter that village.

why you dey tell am .....

Try this with idoma people and see fire, they won't even disturb you, but you will come running and begging............what a useless man you are, she deserved every honor in death, I don't think you'll spend up to #10k for the bride price self and you are disrespecting the dead this much?
Just to honor the dead thats all,
@OP na for heaven God go judge, but they will deal with you spiritually ehnn, even pastors dey collect if he him boundary.

Thank God you were only told to pay her dowry. Some families will hold you responsible for her death. Before you invite the law, also get ready for the repercussions as you may be accused of things you did not do. Forget all the "love" you received from her family until her death. Only marriage gives an absolute right.

That being said, your concerns are valid. I can never get married to a corpse under any condition. But what can you do? You can't win the battle. Sorry.

Chaii
No try am ooo

Sorry to ask why are they demanding you marry her,is it because she bore you a son,or what ?
Okay what about if you 2 were just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend with no child,before this incident happen,will they still force you to come and do the necessary thing ?

Felimax:


Yes, undertaker! Na you create yourself! Mysterious stroke nor va nack you, by the time you nor fit touch your keypad again your eyes go clear.

You dey here dey shine teeth, take the issue to your family and let them talk sense into your dum skull.

Is like this guy na Jazzz man

ossibility:
Which tribe is that?

Na south-south dem dey do dat kind thing....Edo/Delta/Akwa/Cross

Instead of OP to state exactly where so he can get proper advice from natives on here, he is talking tribal nonsense. Of course it's tribal, if it wasn't he wouldn't be in the mess he's currently in. Nigeria is a tribal society, whether or not we it it.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Why would I carry it to the village..?
It's already in the morgue, for her people arrival, it's their daughter.
Have done my most vital parts borrowing money to save her now am in debts, if you want me to marry her corpse because am scared. My brother your wrong.

Who killed her would be the next question. You have a long rope young man. They can abandone that corpse and you dare nit bury her yourself.

Another cooked up story, alaye get out.

ossibility:
Which tribe is that?

Akwa ibom

The advises on this thread are just weird, he should go ahead to marry a corpse because the family of the corpse wants it. Bro involve a lawyer.

Your medulla of ablongata is not correct u better do what there say before thunder go strike u, but your mom don warm you, u no hear go to goat zoo you will see your brain key

StilmaVsBorn2w:
Back then when my mom was warning me not to go that far when our relationship started She kept on insisting I should go for the girls in my tribe, I thought she was just been a tribalist bigot. If only I had listened

She bore me a son, he's 3years now... though her people knows me well from normal visitation..but I haven't been able to pay her bride price yet due to the hardship this regime has on us. life happened, unfortunately she got sick since February, ever since then from one hospital to another..I took several loans from people for hospital bills to the point of me looking sick myself.so sad for us we lost her last night.

I informed her elder brother who knows about all thats happening, he called me back this morning to tell me that his people told me to be prepared to marry her corpse. He went further and said if I don't pay her bride price, my boy will be taken from me and I should be ready to withstand the consequences.
I was surprised, I called for the burial arrangements not for a marriage ceremony

I blantly told him, I won't, why would I get married to her corpse. He was angry and cut the call on me.

Am more concerned about my son, please lawyer's in the house do they have any right to take my son away from me?
Even if they do am ready to give it to them, but spending money to Marry her corpse I will not.

I only brought this here, if had chance for my son whose still in my custody.

Both of you have been living together and she has a son for you before she died. What do you think before? Traditionally you will marry her because you brought it upon yourself. All this new generation people that doesn't know anything about life will just be living a reckless life

I don't knw wat 2 kall u bt u r nt matured enof, u r hia seeking 4 advise. Wat advise do u wnt 4rm us, go n do d needful u tink u can jst bury her lyk dat witout payin 4 her bride price. Ur son is nt important 2 u cos if his important u sharpaly pay 4 her bride price or lose him 2 her family

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

Fufu dey your brain you fear no man buh you are fear to die oga go and do the right thing if you said you a man . you are a type beating woman

StilmaVsBorn2w:

I don't believe in curses, A man can not define my fate in life..I was more concerned about my son that's why I brought it here.
I fear no man

You make me laugh bro, spiritual things differs from the physical. Respect your woman and go and do the needful if you want to enjoy your future marriage else she'll strike d incoming wives with death or barrenness before coming for your head. Everything no be muscle na wisdom.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

joseph,how can you claim I killed her when she's been back to the village twice this period when she was sick with several tradition medicine you all gave her still it had no effect. I had to borrow money to take to several hospitals for test and different expensive drug's, while you all were just sitting there with no monetary assistance.
I said am tired.
I can't marry your sister dead body, am expecting the worst from you

So, felimax and the OP know each other?

Anyway, my brother, all you need do is cool down and face reality, you have a tough case in your hand. Apart from the legal implications of your relationship with the girl, the serious one is the traditional/spiritual aspect of the matter.

Save yourself all the headaches by following some of the advices here. I'm not too sure your concern is just the monetary aspect of marrying the corpse but the sense in it, but that's the problem of tradition, particularly in Africa.

Like somebody said above here, take some cool headed family relations, probably including your mum to go see the girls family and iron out the amount they will collect for the dowry which you should've paid since in the first instance. That's the marriage they're talking about, nothing more.

Plead for their understanding that you're still the person that will foot the burial ceremony, no matter how simple it will be. Look out for one of the elders in her family and start from there. Let him or her be your intermediary in the resolution of the matter, you'll be surprised how this matter will end in a jiffy. Go with a gift acceptable in that community to that proposed intermediary I mentioned and explain things.

Thereafter, a bigger meeting will now be called to sort the matter out.

The real peace you're looking for is in this wisdom to calm down.

Finally, that son of yours that you're so eager to keep with you may not be happy upon being told when he grows up that this is the way you handled this matter. So, bury the matter by this simple way.

God will help you in this, and this is a lesson for the future.

If you don't have money to pay dowry on any lady don't go into intimacy with her. God disallows it, true traditions also disallow it.

There's nothing bad in you paying for her bride price. , she bore you a son and his the reason your brought it here.

Get your people to take you to her family to settle them, if not for anything, let it be for the sake of your son and the love you shared with her while she was alive.

Makanaki127:
Sorry to ask why are they demanding you marry her,is it because she bore you a son,or what ?
Okay what about if you 2 were just living together as boyfriend and girlfriend with no child,before this incident happen,will they still force you to come and do the necessary thing ?

Good question

calmness0:
Op, most tribes act like that, you did not pay bride price and you have been with another persons daughter for years, banging morning afternoon night without paying bride price, you never knew death can knock early right? if it were your sister nko, op go and settle her family.

If most tribes are like that, mine isn't. For keeping the lady with him without performing the requisite rites is bad enough but it is not the end of the world. There are more sophisticated ways of addressing the issue apart from marrying a corpse.

The op is talking about money to Mary the corpse not knowing that he has not heard the worst. The worst part of the unfolding scenario is that after the 'marriage', they would tell him to have sex with the corpse to consummate the marriage.

What savagery.

StilmaVsBorn2w:

Sorry it's not necessary, I won't let you lots to turn this to a tribal war.

Yeah, I get you.

However, if your younger Bro starts dating a girl fr the same tribe, what would you tell him?

Nothing, right?

Maybe the tribe needs to be known, not because of a tribal war, but so people may know what they're in for if dating females from there.

Besides, this answer of yours has told us everything.

We know the people always fighting tribal war on Nairaland.

TyroneP:


He is obviously looking at legalistic approach to the issue. What you're saying is immaterial in the court of law- infact, he's not from the woman's tribe so he doesn't know the provisions of their customary practice in a case like this. In furtherance to this, the deceased was not a minor as at the time of cohabitation, she should have decided on which way to go as regards traditional wedding before agreeing if to cohabit wih him or get married to him.
May her soul rest in peace. What if cases relating to stalking, intent to extort/defraud, misrepresentation of fact, threat to life or constructive possession is instituted/proven against the family? Moreover, he said he was willing to let them have the child. Op, take things easy on yourself. God be with you.

You're speaking English.


Let him,his family and lawyer take the corpse to the girl's village and speak this English and watch their lives evaporate like boiling water


If he is really a fearless man that knows the law, let him take the corpse to the girl's village and see things for himself.


Dem no dey tell person

From my humble opinion, the girls family were too quick to inform u to get ready to marry her course. They should have invited you to know d course of her dead before reaching a decision. From what I know, u can only pay her bride price if u have a hand in his dead. Eg like beating her or through child birth delivery. But if she died of sickness as u claim, u don't have to pay her bride price. Call ur family to go see her people and settle it amicable. It is well with you and your son