NewStats: 3,261,225 , 8,173,429 topics. Date: Wednesday, 28 May 2025 at 03:29 PM 1z4u1b

Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Tell your own people to call a family meeting for her.

Sominablack:
1. she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to.

2. so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing,

3. but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again. I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

1. What are examples of these "things to be done decently and in order in my family" that your wife seems vehemently opposed to?

2. What exactly is this grudge your wife holds against you? You haven't exactly told us anything about what really happened so I am not certain how you intend for us to rationally opine in this matter of yours.

3. You reported your wife, a grown woman, to her folks, didn't you? And you have been granted an even wider audience by her folks to air your grievances against your wife, so why back out now?,

Still go for the meeting

From your epistle, no one said you are wrong.
As for the meeting, make yourself available for it , if you can.
Explore every avenue to bring peace.
Most Important, commit your Family to GOD ALMIGHTY in Prayers. Conciously bring GOD into your Home.

I Pray for you that My Precious DADDY Heals your Home and restore the Love , Joy , Peace and togetherness that brought you two together , in JESUS Name

If she says she doesn’t love you anymore and wants to leave, let her go.

Na Wahala commot for your life so!!!!

Relationships take time and effort so if you want one you gotta put in the time and effort. If you don't have children then please use family planning until you're both on the same page and if you do have children then please put in more time and effort to resolve any issues.

Reflect and identify 3 non negotiable you want worked on. Listen to her problems with you and accept that you have problems too and you guys focus on tackling those issues together.

When a woman says she doesn't feel love it's usually linked to feelings of neglect and lack of affection. Are you concerned about her needs or are you focused mainly on your needs.

Don't conclude on just that 1 meeting, go to this meeting and any other meetings that are held.

Go for the meeting.

Oga, do you need a prophet to tell you that your wife has another guy banging her pussy?

Haven't you heard Nigeria girls are so useless, All of them? With her behaviours, you don't need anyone to tell you that your wife secretly and codedly has another dick banging and servicing her pussy. My brother Your wife Na Olosho, just as most Nigeria girls are. your wife is looking for a way to end that marriage and be with her new lover. That meeting definitely won't stop her from hoeing around.

Oga, You better divorce that girl for your complete peace of mind. Stop killing yourself, forget her and move on

Every day, daughters of eve would always gv sons of men reasons not to get married. As for d op, if your wife could open her mouth and say to u that she doesn't love u and u are still forcing your on her, my brother another bigger dick is behind it.

Righteousness2:
From your epistle, no one said you are wrong.
As for the meeting, make yourself available for it , if you can.
Explore every avenue to bring peace.
Most Important, commit your Family to GOD ALMIGHTY in Prayers. Conciously bring GOD into your Home.

I Pray for you and that My Precious DADDY Heals your Home and restore the Love , Joy , Peace and togetherness that brought you two together , in JESUS Name

Uncle righteousness it's been a while oooo..... How is our miracle baby and madam doing? Say me well to them. Regards sir....

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Go for the meeting.

D key word is adjustment
In as much as what u want differs from her opinion i believe that either of u should be ready to compromise a little
Don't forget LOVE.....
Do everything in LOVE and u will have no problem at all

<< When you get to the meeting, of course you know the agenda.. (Operation tell the truth). just tell them the truth of how her attitude makes you feel...

<<Though I don't fancy third party but since it's already out there, maybe she will listen to them and change..

<<But if after the meeting she doesn't want to change, And deep down you know that she doesn't love you any more, please do not push to remain in a loveless marriage... that will shorten your lifespan. Best of luck man..

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Hmm. Hope you have not turned your relationship to master-slave relationship. She’s not your child, she’s your wife. Apply flexibility and trust her to take care of things. Maybe you are authoritarian and controlling. She’s tired of it. You can’t fully control and dictate to another human being. It will make your relationship fall apart. All humans desire free will and it is our nature. Try to be flexible and overlook petty things.

Has she always been like this?

First of all, you're African. Don't let your wife manipulate you into having some power sharing agreement with her or any of that sort. You're the leader in your home as far as your marriage is concerned, but being a loving partner and having a peaceful home free from avoidable rebellion may need more wisdom and better leadership skills.

Do you often micromanage your wife? This may not be necessary because she is a full grown adult and can make decisions of her own when you delegate tasks and responsibilities to her.

Take for example, cleaning of dishes. Some people do that while cooking and then after meal, while some people wait till after meal when it has piled up. As long as it's done within a certain timeframe (like morning, afternoon etc), don't try to control when exactly she does it, let her handle that. Don't see her sitting down for some rest and ask her to go clean the dishes immediately like she's some child. If she's lagging in her responsibilities (e.g. not doing the dishes at all through the day) due to too much downtime, then you can step in and demand an explanation, maybe she needs better time management.

If extended family meetings are not working for her, try couples counseling and see if that works, but I recommend you honor the invitation from your in-laws and possibly go with someone/people from your extended family as well, as witness(es)

Make your home conducive for her, but if she still insists on leaving and continues to be malcontent, maybe she needs some space for her emotional well-being, don't force her to stay so that you both don't end up in a toxic situation

GooodHardDick:
Oga, do you need a prophet tell you that your wife has another guy banging her pussy?

Haven't you heard Nigeria girls are so useless, All of them? With her behaviours, you don't need anyone to tell you that your wife secretly and codedly has another dick banging and servicing her pussy. My brother Your wife Na Olosho, just as most Nigeria girls are. your wife is looking for a way to end that marriage and be with her new lover. That meeting definitely won't stop her from hoeing around.

Oga, You better divorce that girl for your complete peace of mind. Stop killing yourself, forget her and move on

Marriage is not easy and stop saying what u don't know.
How can u say this to our women? if u are normal and come from a respectable family u won't say all this trash.

U can only say all this nonsense because u are a textbook example of a prodigal child who does not see anything good about women

Allow those who are married to talk and render responsible advice and not be talking nonsense just because u feel like.

You are Blessed my Sister! Miracle baby is doing wonderfully and Tremendously well. Wifey is doing great.
We give thanks to ALMIGHTY GOD.

ststyreal:

Uncle righteousness it's been a while oooo..... How is our miracle baby and madam doing? Say me well to them. Regards sir....

Sominablack:
Greeting Nairalanders,
My wifes attitude has been unbecoming, disrespectful, avoiding intimacy for months, insultive and always playing the silent treatment which I have learnt to ignore. Her mum visited and confirmed these attitude, she did counsel and advised her to change yet she was reluctant and stated she dont want to continue being a wife that she has lost love and feelings for me because I want things to be done decently and in order in my family which she is opposed to. Having observed this her mum left angrily and told the matter to her husband to confirm some of the issues of my wifes behaviour which I had stressed on and as a result had a family meeting with her family since I was invited not long ago.

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

Just go for the meeting... married people una wahala no d finish..

Accident is cheap these days, maybe you guys should just separate since she can’t tell you why she’s behaving like that….

your wife gave you a way out and you are hanging on, you are not the problem, she is not in love anymore, but the question is why are you reluctant to let a woman who will probably endanger you to be close by? maybe until she pull a Kanye on you before you realize that life sweet.

Thanks all for the advice, I appreciate. But as it is now, am no longer interested in the relationship any longer, how can I do with my daughter of 7years that's the only issue bothering me now, cos I dont want her to influence her negatively.

See topic

After asking the "Will you marry me" question, paying bride price and spending on wedding
Now U're telling me you've lost love and feelings for me. The kind things men dey go through for this life sha, Hmmmmmmmm!!!!

lol, how and where people meet all these types of spouses is still a mystery to me lol



Guys please stop forcing ladies to marry you oh, that's my only advice

Wait did God create you to come and live a frustrated life ni

Now with the attitude still being displayed by her, her dad asked me to come down to the village by next week so the issue will be discussed in their larger family so that my wife would come and explain to them why she is behaving the way she is doing, but not up to three months we had a meeting and now this one billed for next week again.I dont feel like honouring the meeting because I have done my best to follow peace even though I cannot fathom where I am at fault. At this juncture what do I do?

No be small matter o